The Nile of Denial

 

 

 

The rolling of the Nile

Brings upon fresh currants of denial

 

To a land of rich, good things

Until innovation dries the springs

To empty deserts, misery people

 

Sweep the land, and they do nothing

 

These sheeple, these shameless sheep

Of once great people

 

The few shall rise

And the second change shall bring

Renewal, the filling of stone dry springs

 

But with good fortune comes a tint of tainted red

That churns stomachs and stains cheeks green

 

Across the yellow mountains hangs a crimson veil

To change/remain the same

Both fates bring

Destinies much to pale

 

But still the people keep on

In this land

Under the brightest yellow sail

Author's Note

Please keep limits to flames of political opinion

Reviews

[Augustus]

There is a deep and complex vein running throughout the poem. Although it takes the river Nile as its premise, I think this poem can in a broader sense, be taken to be one that describes the rise and fall of civilizations. The lines here speak about past glory and also about the present complacency / ineptitude. However, there is also a hopeful thread, where you talk about the "second change". But you add one more caveat, where, presumably you talk of the violence that is often associated with revolution. I loved the use of color throughout the poem to depict various notions. Overall I am quite impressed. You are a talented poet. Well done! :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

thank you so much Augustus I'm glad you enjoyed it. I am an ameuture wrtier so I'm always trying to find my style and improve. You got exactly what I was writing about! I'm actually suprised you got the revolution, I honestly didn't think anyone would.

[Augustus]

You're welcome Emily(?). We are all amateurs in a way. The process of learning never stops. I have been writing for 15 years and I still keep improving. I still benefit from the critical comments that I receive here. As far as the revolution goes, I gathered it from the line "But with good fortune there comes a tint of tainted red". A "change" as you put it is obviously welcome whenever there is a stagnation in society. But the manner in which it is brought about often also has its negative effects. The French and the Russian revolutions are prime examples of that. But I do like the discrete way in which you have included it in your poem. That subtlety is always a welcome sign in any budding poet. :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I often do add subtle things like that, perhaps it's part of my style, but because of that people often don't understand my poems or reinterpret them in different ways.

[Augustus]

There is always a fine line between subtlety and obscurity. Exactly where that line is, depends as much upon the reader as upon the poet. I don't think you should mind too much if people don't get what you're trying to say. And I think it is fine if people reinterpret it in a different way. It is part of the charm of poetry. I am of the opinion that once a poem is written down, it belongs as much to the readers as it does to the poet.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

indeed :-D

[Mary Christabel George]

This is such a beautiful composition........:)

[Gerald Parker]

Are they the same people? - No. But a great poem, amazing images. Don't particularly like the use of the /.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

So many people complain about the state of our nation but do nothing to help change it. a very compelling read.

[Tree]

A deep richness to this poem, and fluid like that great river. It makes me think how much our lives are like the river. And how we follow it, no matter what. Thank you for sharing this.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

It is no problem at all Diego in fact it is to my eternal delight.

[♥ Kinnixk]

Beautiful writing Hannah-chan :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

arigato kinnixk-chan!

[SHEEMA HUQ]

I think that this is a great poem, the imagery is lucid and colourful and your descriptions are faultless, well done

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

thanx so much sheema! we had a free write today in class and this was the result. I'm glad its getting such a good reaction I was actually really scared it would upset some people.

[marie]

you make your flow seem so effortless:) loved the imagery in this could almost see it in front of me:) great job yet again:)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I'm really glad you liked it!! I just try to make it sound good lol I'm secretly clueless half the time :-P

[marie]

well you really can't tell, unlike in my pieces...you can always tell:)lol

[Rogue]

I like how this is structured. Your words evoke great imagery and it has an easy flow to it.
The addition of the picture was a nice touch. :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thank rogue I'm Rly glad you liked it! I thought the picture suited the message sooo badabing bada boom there you go lol

[Coyote Poetry]

I saw and touched the Nile. The desert had beauty also. The snakes and spiders are many. I like your description and some history. The old places hide the mystery of a old times. I enjoyed the complete poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thank coyote it's cool that I've been there and everything. I've never left America. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem.