A Blast From the Past: Future celebs meet dictator

I wrote this for an English class. we had to choose three famous people and write about having dinner with them. tell me what you think :-)

      Snow swirls around my head ,but I feel no cold. I hear bangs and see lights; like fireworks, inches from my skin, but I feel no pain. I’m in an abyss of chaos; up and down to me right now, have no meaning. My eyes wide and my pupils dilated, I take in the overwhelming activity of chaos and nothingness surrounding me. Suddenly, everything stops and I’m left with only nothingness; only a dense black abyss.

     Out of the black appears one point of icy blue ,and then a few seconds later a second point of aquamarine. These two points were two very bright eyes, yet there was no emotion in these eyes. There was no way these eyes could be the eyes of a human. Soon after the appearance of the two eyes appeared a face, a scalp of silvery hair and a lithe body, in a massive silk white gown. What she was, I don’t know, but she offered me something special ,something I didn’t believe at the time. She told me she was a god, and she grew dreary and bored. She said, she could kill me any second but wouldn’t if I entertained her.

   Of course, I said yes. The only condition was that I would entertain her by having dinner with three famous people, and of course that it would be funny. After she said this, she began to disappear back into the black just as she had originally appeared. Just as her mismatched eyes began to go, I heard a whisper telling me that to bring my chosen people to my home I must clap my hands twice and yell bang, and then the name of the person I wanted to summon, and then bang once more.

      Once the black abyss engulfed the entirety of my senses, it began to lighten to an almost warm reddish-brown. I could feel my body now and to be sure I even wiggled my littlest toe. Yup, I was back. I slowly opened my eyes and smiled serenely; I was in my bedroom. It must have been a dream.

    I rolled over to my side and looked dazedly down at my pillow and saw something that made a frown drop to my face as if weighed down by a billion pound anvil. There was an icy blue snow flake in the palm of my hand. The snowflake was the same color as one of the woman’s eyes, and in the exact place she demanded I whisper. It was no dream.

   Eventually, my doom and gloom attitude was completely shed like a snake sheds its scales. It’s not as if my task was so terrible; I just had to make dinner and be funny. It really wasn’t very bad at all, especially when the alternative was dying. So I went to the kitchen and literally began “cooking for my life”; I made matzah ball soup, chocolate cake, and tacos.

A cat walked by my window and gave me a look. I told it that I made tacos and that no, I wasn’t ,in fact, crazy. Though thinking back on it, I was talking to a cat, so maybe I was.

        After preparing the table and setting up four seats I inhaled deeply; it was time. I clapped my hands cleanly together twice, yelled loudly bang, whispered “Adolf Hitler”, and then yelled bang once more. Slowly, you could see glowing red particles start to form and vibrate over one of the four seats I prepared.

     Soon, Adolf Hitler was sitting before me, calmly, in front of the matzah ball soup. I repeated the ritual twice more and called in Britney Spears and Marilyn Monroe. Their seats were by the tacos and chocolate cake.
   I chose Britney Spears because she makes everything dramatic and funny. I chose Marilyn just because she’s awesome; being the first super model and all. Also, I was curious how Hitler would react to her. I chose Hitler, because everyone knows him and I thought he’d make things interesting.

   I was fairly correct in my assumptions. As I summoned the two ladies Hitler just sat there with his arm crossed and leered at them with a huge smirk on his face; he leered very obviously to. Marilyn just gave him a disgusted deadpanned stare. Britney, however, fluttered her eyelashes at him and gave him a great, big, goofy, smile. His smirk turned form one of complete perversion to one of complete success with only undercurrents of perversion.

Britney and Marilyn got up and switched seats. Britney so she could be closer to Hitler, and Marilyn so she could be as far away from them as she could manage. It was a perfect match because Hitler loves blonds ,and Britney loves guys in general.

Soon all of us were eating and talking fairly amicably to each other, though Marilyn had a clear grimace of disgust on her face, whenever addressed by Hitler. Hitler liked the matzah ball soup even though he didn’t know what it was. Britney liked the chocolate cake and Marilyn liked the tacos.

   While Hitler was gobbling down his soup like a starved man, I let a chuckle slip. I tried to muffle it ,but to no avail. As soon as the sound escaped my lips Hitler’s spoon froze hanging from his mouth between his lips. He wanted to know what had made me laugh. I asked if he knew what type of dish matzah ball soup was. He didn’t know. I gleefully informed him it was a Jewish dish. His face turned deathly pale and his mouth opened. The soup fell droopily back into his dish. For the rest of dinner he sat there shivering and muttering “contamination”; He wouldn’t stop no matter how much breast Britney flashed at him. Marilyn just shook her head at the two of them.

Britney ate her cake and Marilyn ate her tacos. Marilyn ate two tacos and Britney ate the whole cake. Marilyn just stared wide-eyed ate Britney. When Britney burped and a small splatter of chocolate icing landed on Marilyn’s cheek, it was the last straw. She clamped her hand over her mouth and ran to the bathroom.

   Suddenly, Hitler seemed to snap out of his daze after Marilyn left and gave Britney an odd sort of smile. He told Britney there was an army of naked men and pointed out the window. We looked but there was nothing strange out the window except a lovely blue-jay. When we looked back to ask about it we saw him trying to hang himself with the table cloth. Britney just collapsed in tears on the table. Why, I don’t know, they just met each other after-all. I took the cloth away from Hitler and told him he was being a very bad Hitler, and that exterminating people was bad, even if it was himself. He went back to his shivers and mutterings.

   Marilyn walked back into the room and returned gracefully to her seat. She finished her ice-tea and stood once again. After she did so, the other two followed her example. They all said thank you for the meal , said It was wonderful, and started to glow once more. Soon in a flash of white light they were gone and the table was completely cleared. It was as if they were never there. All that was left behind was a small card that was filled with laughter and congratulation for winning my life. It was signed by the Goddess of Snow.

© 2013 Emily Dickinson Jr.

Author's Note

don't comment on the lack of dialogue because the teacher wouldn't let us write in the dialogue

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Reviews

Wall of Words

That was a great story. And funny. Haha. Hitler and the jewish soup. LOL. I'd be so funny to see his face....ROFL
Great job!
Sylvia.

Posted 11 Years Ago

Naomi Bloom

Humorous piece... I like that you put Hitler in front of the matzah ball soup and that he liked it; that was funny. It seems as if your protagonist put together a lovely meal despite the chaos. It was imaginative to invent a bored goddess in order for your story to work in terms of plot.

However, there were several grammar errors. I still think you could have gone farther with this concept, but it was overall a creative and funny story.

Posted 11 Years Ago

11 Years Ago

To be honest it was only a school assignment. As it is I got carried away and went over the length .. read more

11 Years Ago

Cool. Yeah, it did seem kind of short.

londenberg

lol, im half jewish & when the word hitler is said, boom all ears perk up, lol.

interesting design, the 3 folks choosen, if I had to guess-you like blondes & power which there's nothing wrong with that- I prefer brunettes but that's neither here nor there.

I do like the first half which gives the reader the genie/wish idea as well as the perils of destiny. im not a big misspellings/errors kinda guy becuz im misspelled & errored but I like what you have here,
sincerely from the writer of "LondenBerg by Lord Biron".

Posted 11 Years Ago

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11 Years Ago

thanks. don't really have a preference for hair color or power lol actually i think i prefer black.. read more

11 Years Ago

lol I look forward to listening to you more.

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11 Years Ago

Very well done!

11 Years Ago

Lol Thanx again :-D

11 Years Ago

You're welcome!:)

noeo96

This is very funny. It was a very enjoyable story to read. I thought that the title was very interesting also. I could tell that there was a lot of thought put into this very well-written story. May I ask what your assignment was? It sounds like a lot of fun! I totally wish I could meet these three!