Excellent write. I like the set up. It grabbed my attention and kept it. I feel sick that young children feel this way. Its chilling.....but important that we don't bury our heads in the sand to their pain.
The narrator is challenged more than most. Yet while in the struggle there is still hope. Too many are there, in that moment, in the midst of the challenge. Good that you can speak it for those who might not have that voice or the words.
Oouchh.. That was a sad but very effective piece..
NIce one Emily .. :) :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thanx :-). As someone who's been bullied herself as a child I take this subject very serious. I'm o.. read moreThanx :-). As someone who's been bullied herself as a child I take this subject very serious. I'm of the mind that most bullies are stupid or purposefully don't think about what they do so I try to be quite obviouse and upfront. I write this from my own point of view as a victim that wished someone would feel regret.
11 Years Ago
Ohh.. So sorry to hear, that this sad piece is one of your life story...
This was quite chilling actually. That someone so young should feel so much pain they would end their life.
Very emotional and heartbreaking g piece.
You did a wonderful job of pulling is into this child's unhappy world.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
I'm glad you could enter such a world. ppl dnt see it but its there and when you take the blinders .. read moreI'm glad you could enter such a world. ppl dnt see it but its there and when you take the blinders off sure its scary but its there and ppl should be aware of it, know it with absolute certainty
to be a nine year old and even be able to think that way is truly amazing. To think: what has happened to this girl and why would she think this?"
At nine: I saw my mom almost killed and i didnt have these thoughts.
It is a wounderful pice and gets people to think and to wounder.
Thank you for sharing:)
Posted 12 Years Ago
12 Years Ago
You'r welcome! this isnt complete fiction either I knew a girl at nine and she really did cut herse.. read moreYou'r welcome! this isnt complete fiction either I knew a girl at nine and she really did cut herself but not her wristes she cut her fingers.
These kind of questions asked in horrific situations in life are perhaps without the right answers to the one in pain, the one suffering, the one violated, abused, forgotten, lonely, and so many more happenings that could cause one so young to feel as this!! It is all so sad, so very, very sad - the emotion which you have captured in your poem of urgency and awakening! God help the little children!!
A most poignant write!!
This hits home in so many ways. We all second guess choices we make in our lives, but this one is so sad. I've always tried to help those in need...even if pain fills my own life. This was very expressive poem. Thank you for sharing and excellent job. Maybe, if anything, for those who have read it, we'll make the right choice when the time comes.
Posted 12 Years Ago
12 Years Ago
I hope for that more than anything when ppl read my work
Im just a highschool girl. Writing is my hobby and I think Im fairly good at it but I leave you to be the judge of that. :-)
my best short stories are: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/poisinros.. more..