Laurel the half Leviathan

What happens when a dark male meets an extrelmely dangerous and equally cruel Leviathan

   

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

  

 

 

 

   in the past, the seas were ravaged by a hideous and gigantium monster for a great many years. It was so monstrous, that on the land it was seen as a ridiculous myth from the bible. It was a Leviathan.  One dreadful day while it was destroying coral reefs, and terrorizing mer-villages, a humanoid figure was seen floating down from the surface. Many people dared to hope for salvation from the Leviathan. As he got closer there hopes melted, as if set to cinders by the fires of hell itself, from just a glance at his person. He was downing dark green leather pants, and a silk black button-down dress shirt. As he floated down, his dark purple hair splayed out around him, floating with the currant. His eyes connecting with the great beast terrorizing the mer-people as if linked together by a spell. His deep black eyes, like endless caverns, connected and captured the murky white of the Leviathan.

   ‘Hello magnificent one ' was all he could murmur upon seeing the great expanse of the creature, and its sleek gray beauty.

  He didn't know the gender of the beast but all the same it was magnificent. It's androgyny was captivating.

   ‘I’m a female. Dark human, what brings you upon my seas? ‘

He froze in shock. The creature, sorry, she, hadn't moved her lips but he had heard her as clearly as the translucent, rolling waters.

 

"Are you-" "yes I am telepathic. I can speak no other way."

   As she was speaking he couldn't help but notice that yes, the creature had to be female, for she had long curled eyelashes. In fact her eyes were almond shaped in a way that only a female could possess and oh did she possess them well.

  "What business do you have upon the seas of the Great Sandra?"

   “Oh, um ..." He had forgotten why he had come; what a spell this she-creature had upon him! “I am the human Gerald, of darkness and ambition, and have traveled to the depths of the darkest oceans to see what future I may have and if my ambition can be furthered here."

  Her milky irises glinted in cleverness and plans to be had.

   "Why don't you come to my home my deliciously dark Gerald? We shall discuss the furthering of both your and my own dark agenda in the loveliest dark crevices that these dank seas have to offer." The Leviathan purred telepathic.

  It sounded lovely to his sinful ears and he followed her down, down, down into her deeply dank den. Gerald never did return to land and the mer-people where very much in bliss because neither the disturbing human nor their tormenting Leviathan were seen, nor heard of for many months. Deep below the world of the mer-people's gleeful celebrations was the crevice in which Sandra lived and with her was Gerald. Her underbelly was plump and Gerald was sleeping upon it clutching her scales with great care. Both of them held expressions of great gentleness and tender love that no other being in the seas or above, would ever see.

 

  Sadly the sea-creatures' peace wasn't to last and in no time at all their torment was continued. Only this time with the addition of a black clothed lump clinging to Gerald's side whom was never seen away from his or Sandra's side. After several years that lump swam by their sides but never without trembling. Tremors constantly wracked its small figure. No one knew its face. All that was known was that it had deep obsidian eyes like the human Gerard. Only these orbs glistened in pure infantile innocence not the heady darkness that surrounded it at both its sides. They saw that the evil couple would try to get the “small darkness" to kill, to torture, to torment. They even tried to get the small darkness to conquer its very own small village. After these times blood flowed in whispery clouds out of small darkness’s black cloak.

 

  By the fifth year of this the sinister couple left the small darkness in the " Sardilla Kelp Forest”. They left to depths of the oceans left untouched by their sin. The thousands of sea-creatures were unaware that by morning, they would have a reprieve from their suffering for a great many years. The small darkness awoke with the sun and realizing it had been abandoned simply sobbed. When it tried to wipe away the tears it flinched back from the pain. It had forgotten father Gerald had punished it for not torturing a small mermaid-nymph hybrid during the last raid. While lost in memories of the horrible sins of its parents, it didn't realize that the kelp surrounding it was being swept aside by a small green head.

   “Hey, are you okay?" she stared. “It was the hybrid from earlier. She was riding on a sea turtle’s back and was staring at her worriedly. “She recognized the small darkness from earlier.” It's you! Thanks for not hurting me! You look like your in a bind why don't you come with me I don't have anyone either we can be sisters. Only you can't ride the turtle, only I can ride. I'm Arianna but since we're sisters now you can call me Air."

  Little darkness smiled at Air and took off her cloak. She smiled for the first time she could remember. It melted away quickly but the surrounding aura of joy never did dissipate. Her innocent black eyes gleamed up at Air in delight and air saw what no one else but little darkness’s parents had; what she looked like. She had spiky purple hair several shades lighter than her father's, pink pouty lips, a small pert nose, and fair skin with a couple freckles on one side of her nose. Underneath her cloak she was wearing a black spandex one piece with red flames by her hips with many rips in it where numerous bleeding wounds could be seen.

  “My name is Laurel" Little darkness murmured quietly in a monotone clutching tightly to Air's hand.

   Within a week the black spandex was replaced by a medium length pink skirt and a gray sweater two sizes two big, that eternally slipped down one shoulder. Though Air's turtle had mysteriously acquired a handsome leather bandanna around its neck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Tree]

Very imaginative Hannah... Vivid. I saw some of what you wrote like
scenes, in a movie. The only thing is some of your metaphors threw me
off; for example: "However as he got closer there hopes melted like so much rotten cheese from just a glance at his person." The word "rotten" is attributed to the sense of smell, here you just want to give the reader the visual that their "hope" melted away, left them. Here's another way you can look at it: "However as he got closer there hope began to melt away, like a pound of cheese in the hot sun. For the stranger was not what they had expected ..." Just an example Hannah. Otherwise I really enjoyed your imagination...

Diego

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I normally wouldnt have used that analogy but I read in a course that you should use strange analogies to capture peoples attention like H.K rollong did in harry potter when he compared his feelings to a baloon.
Maybe this wasn't what they were talking about ..

[Tree]

Don't stop experimenting Hannah, here is where we want to work out all
the kinks:) Have a great day...



–––Diego

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

lol thanx diego did you like my alteration?

[Tree]

Good stuff Hannah, I saw that comparison in my mind more clearly. Looking
forward to reading more of your work..
––Diego

[Amaya Sullivan]

What an imagination! I really enjoyed this story. I feel like there should be more to it. I love your descriptions were very vivid. I really like this story.

Good luck! Keep writing!

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

this was actually meant to be a chapter for a book my friend was gna write but she gave up .. i might take it up and expand from this in my own way later on though

[Amaya Sullivan]

I would do it if I were you! No story should be left untold!

[Sunny]

Mysterious and captivating. I like it! ;)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thanx I'm glad you liked it I wrote it as a favor for a friend

[Sunny]

Really? Your a good friend then!

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

lol yeah i guess :-) it's no problem though it only took me like a hour and I wasn't very busy

[Sunny]

An hour... That's good :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

lol yeah I guess but I'm told its littered with all sorts of grammatical and structural mistakes *shrugs shoulders* thats just how I do

[Sunny]

Good enough!

[KeeD]

I loved this, the story was told beautifully and I couldn't stop reading, if anything I wanted it to continue.. I wanted to be a part of the adventures of air and laurel.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

yeah lol it was always meant to contimue but i just havent found the time lately. I'm glad you like it so much :-)

[marie]

hmmm not usually my kind of story, but i realy like it :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

aw thanx marie!! I feel like I'v truly suceeded when someone can say it's not usually there things but for me they make an exception. truly gives me the chills and thrills! :-D

[marie]

your welcome!!!! even though i feel as if i am the one who should be thanking you for such a great read :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

aww ur such a sweatheart

[marie]

:)

[Miss Minni]

Wow this was great! Thanks for sharing it in my contest!

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

No problem at all I'm glad you liked it :-)

[Crowbar]

You have great imagination and this tale has so much potential. It was a bit confusing to read, as the point of view is undefined. There are some areas where you used apostrophes where you should have used quotation marks, mostly in the beginning. i.e. 'Hello magnificent one' should be quotations. There also seem to be some misplaced quotes in the paragraph that starts, "Hey, are you okay?"
You mention Gerald multiple times but then you mention a "Gerard," so I'm not sure if those are two different people or what.
I would also suggest working on the way your characters communicate with each other. They don't seem to have personalities; the dialogues feel bland.
Good luck with your future writing, seems like you are capable of some great ideas. :]

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for sharing the excellent tale. I like the use of myth create good story and situation. The characters made the story have life. I like the artwork. Gave life to the story. A outstanding story.
Coyote

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thank you so much! I'm co-authoring a story with my friend kinnix and this is my first contribution :-)

[M Garcia]

This was quite a tale! Thanks for sharing.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

no problem!! and thanx I'm glad you enjoyed it :-)

[Andrew N. Farrens]

Cool story. Thanks for sharing it. Indeed....

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

no problem at all! only doing what I love :-)