Blind Irony

A poem about a small girl experienceing blindness and how it effects her outlook. Its about taking things for granted, loss, and appreciation. its a good read so try it out! :-)

 

 

 

Little one
In meadow green
Hides her eyes
Of amazing sheen
Soon they fade
And turn blank white
So now her world
Is only night
Feather blindfold
Flutters down

While she crawls
Upon the ground
She gazes sun-ward
Like a dream
From Pearly eyes
Comes a quiet
Crystal stream

Reviews

[LuciDxInsanitY]

Wow I really like this one. Alot. I like how the lines are short but they have so much meaning. GJ :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thanx! I try to make my poems short yet very powerful and intersting.

[Sami Khalil]

Nice well written poem, Hannah...

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thank you!!

[Sami Khalil]

You are quite welcome.

[Jocelin]

This is my favorite peice that you have written so far. WELL DONE! once again very detailed in emotions, it truly gives you the feeling that you want when your reading this

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Im glad you liked it! iv had some ppl saying there isnt "enough" emotion if you can believe it. I mean if I put more in it would remind me of teenage angst and Im really tring to avoid that

[Jocelin]

Yeah i personally think its perfect just the way it is but i guess people have different opinions

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

yup! one guy accepted my opinion but this other dude like insulted me when I disagreed .. my friend called him a troll lol

[Jocelin]

HAHA! i'd do the same thing! ^.^

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Nice! hahaha

[.]

Hannah, I really enjoyed the metaphorical techniques you used to create this piece. The imagery really brings your poem to life. Great job.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

thanx so much :-)

[LOfCharlemagne]

While i liked this, i feel you could have focused more on the sadness she may be feeling. You have captured a great tone, but maybe add a little contrast to that? Maybe make it a tad bit more sorrowfull. I enjoyed this though.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

im trying 2 avoid outright angst ...

[Steven Cash]

Very very very nice!

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

lol well thank you very very very much!

[Steven Cash]

:)

[Tree]

A beautifully soft and dreamy piece. However I'm going to echo R. Mascenik here. Beauty is not the sole property of the dreamy, and the enchanted. You can also find it in the cold and harsh reality of the ugly truth. Hannah consider some Grit/realism in your next project, step out of your comfort zone, and experiment! :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I was tring for an unbiased outside view type of surrealism considering how emotional some of my others are

[Tree]

Understood poetess, looking forward to reading you again.

Diego

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

no prob!

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

ooh and I did do that in my other poem " bad touches " if youv never read it

[marlayesterday]

I like this. She gazes sunward like a dream... I like that line. I thought the transition was beautiful.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thats actually my favorite line of the poeam as well :-). Im glad the transition worked out I always worry abput having perfect rythm and transition in my poetry

[Alexa Tasch]

Wow very lovely. Not as happy as some of your other poems, but still wonderful! The visuals were beautiful. Great poem keep it up! :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thank so much! I got the insperation for it during a lecture in my freshman year :-)

[Alexa Tasch]

well I'm sure this is much better than a lecture :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

lol got that right