Cold, Still And Gone

Cold, Still And Gone

A Poem by Emily Dickinson Jr.
"

A poem about finding a loved one dead from suicide.

"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Small Lovely

 

Why are you so still?

Why do you bleed red?

Why the blood you spill?

 

"please tell me your not dead!"

 

Sad mistaken water

dry on pale, cold face

 

Solemn pill bottle empty

Your heart... it can not race

 

Your soul so trapped, so broke,

So pretty

Leaves no heartbroken trace

 

No more pure felt goodness

In this hallowed place

 

© 2013 Emily Dickinson Jr.


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Featured Review

Poetry is not my thing, which makes this review even more surprising. If I review a poem it means it broke through my barriers and this one definitely did. First of all, I like that you are tackling a topic that needs to be brought to people's attention.

I like the simplicity , the cleanliness of your writing, it is not cluttered with words just to fill the page, however, the cleanliness does not mean it is bare. Parts that jumped out
-your soul so trapped and broke
no heartbroken trace
sad mistaken water. I'm reading this to be dried tears, which describes the scene without spelling it all out for us. Allowing the reader to fill in the blanks as our mind sees it .

The last line, wraps it up nicely, and leaves us with a sense of finality. Again, you are not telling the reader what exactly it means and we are left to wonder if this speaks to the fact that her death is the loss of future opportunities?

I really enjoyed the emotions and depth this brought out and , as I said, before, we need to talk about suicide and death. Glad you tackled the tough topics.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emily Dickinson Jr.

11 Years Ago

Im really happy you could appreciate it! I'm the type of poet that enjoys broaching upon such topic.. read more



Reviews

I can trace so much love and feelings in this poem. Well penned...

Posted 12 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

12 Years Ago

lol thanx!! :-)
Sami Khalil

12 Years Ago

Quite welcome...
Beautiful...Somehow..(Might just be my morbid mind).
"You soul so trapped, so broke,
So pretty
Leaves no heartbroken trace"
Tragically beautiful...Loved it. Great job, Hannah. :)


Posted 12 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

12 Years Ago

Im glad you saw the beuty in it :-) Im so happy you enjoyed it!
Melody

12 Years Ago

You're welcome. :)
Excellent, painting of truth! for some....

" Your heart... it can not race"

Lovely short piece of writing

E.L.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

12 Years Ago

thanx :-)

12 Years Ago

Always a pleasure :)
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Why are you so still
Why do you bleed red
Why the blood you spill
please tell me your not dead
I loved that part! :) 100/100

Posted 12 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

12 Years Ago

Thanx! lol I do so love to know people appreciate it :-)
.

12 Years Ago

no problem

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Stats

887 Views
14 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on August 22, 2012
Last Updated on January 19, 2013
Tags: suicide, dead, alive, cry, sad, mourne, pillls, drugs, cutting, blood, death, heartbreak

Author

Emily Dickinson Jr.
Emily Dickinson Jr.

FL



About
Im just a highschool girl. Writing is my hobby and I think Im fairly good at it but I leave you to be the judge of that. :-) my best short stories are: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/poisinros.. more..

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