Poetry is not my thing, which makes this review even more surprising. If I review a poem it means it broke through my barriers and this one definitely did. First of all, I like that you are tackling a topic that needs to be brought to people's attention.
I like the simplicity , the cleanliness of your writing, it is not cluttered with words just to fill the page, however, the cleanliness does not mean it is bare. Parts that jumped out
-your soul so trapped and broke
no heartbroken trace
sad mistaken water. I'm reading this to be dried tears, which describes the scene without spelling it all out for us. Allowing the reader to fill in the blanks as our mind sees it .
The last line, wraps it up nicely, and leaves us with a sense of finality. Again, you are not telling the reader what exactly it means and we are left to wonder if this speaks to the fact that her death is the loss of future opportunities?
I really enjoyed the emotions and depth this brought out and , as I said, before, we need to talk about suicide and death. Glad you tackled the tough topics.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Im really happy you could appreciate it! I'm the type of poet that enjoys broaching upon such topic.. read moreIm really happy you could appreciate it! I'm the type of poet that enjoys broaching upon such topics that need to be addressed. The simplicity is just my style I like what I say to be fairly blunt and to the point. However, I don't want to make a poem that everyone will read and relate to identically. So I try to weave many meanings into the verses. It always makes me overjoyed when someone whom isn't always a fan of poetry can appreciate a work of mine. That's what I am for, to be able to appeal to an everyday reader.
Beautiful...Somehow..(Might just be my morbid mind).
"You soul so trapped, so broke,
So pretty
Leaves no heartbroken trace"
Tragically beautiful...Loved it. Great job, Hannah. :)
Posted 12 Years Ago
12 Years Ago
Im glad you saw the beuty in it :-) Im so happy you enjoyed it!
Im just a highschool girl. Writing is my hobby and I think Im fairly good at it but I leave you to be the judge of that. :-)
my best short stories are: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/poisinros.. more..