Lies and Shys ( sestina )

a poem called a sestina about a pair of lovers escaping the sin and downfall of most relationships on earth by ascending to heaven

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Working for a quick release

Of worries so shy

I can't bring all the lies

it's okay when your away

From this empty room

Because your my magical loom

 

You'r in the background, you loom

You take my pandora and hit release

My heart's empty now, for you there's eternal room

When we were away

There will be no lies

 

They won't catch us; those lies

The bad feelings always loom

The doom always stays untill its away

That's one thing that dosen't need release

With my heart I can't be shy

In our pink, heart shaped room

 

We beat the shadows away, there is no room

At the golen gate its truth, no lies

Angel please hold my hand, don't be shy

No shadows here will loom

Here in cloud covered peace is our true release

And all the pitchforks are forced to stray, pushed away

 

Angelics sing all terrible things swept on a wing, away

All the giggles will linger, at the end of the singers room

There is no anger release

Only purity peace and not one lie

At the gate are all the sinners, in envy they loom

Of our white love, now above, once much to shy

 

All the cherubs flutter their lashes tis so shy in a white fluffy room

But not he nor I, will be taken away by the shyness and lies

Now only kindness looms and gallant handsome grooms don't need a release

Reviews

[anne p. murray- LadeeAn..]

This is such a stunning write. I believe you should receive an poety award.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I entered it in a contest ..... they never replied back though so I guess they didnt like it... Im glad you liked it though

[Krystal L. Elliott]

OMG I want to write a sestina so badly but i'm not sure how to go about it. Seeing this poem, I would use it as an example for myself. I see now what they mean by the repeat of words. Very nice! It was a cute poem too. =) I'm a sucker for love

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

It wasnt asy not at all! it took me longer than usual and I dont think the emotion matches up to my usual standards. im my own harshest critic

[Krystal L. Elliott]

yea i do have to say the actual emotion of the poem was a little hard to find. If you had not put in the description that it was about lovers escaping to heaven for love, i don't think i would have picked that up. it was still enjoyable and very lovely.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

thanx

[Jasmine Thurber]

That's a really good poem good job :-)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

thanx!!! it was my first time writing a sestina so I was worried about how it would come out

[Jasmine Thurber]

It came out great

[Corset]

what a gorgeous tribute to your loved one! I loved how you ended it too, perfect ending to a lovely write, well done!

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

thanx! it was my first time writing a sestina and I'm not going to lie ... I struggled quite a bit with it