Red Velvet Tease

Read! It's bout a "girl" that plays with one 2 many men's hearts. She got her game turned on her. One of the guys she played with became an obsessed stalker and wouldn't give her a moment of peace.

 

 

Red velvet tease

 

I chase you

Through my dreams

 

Your voice so soft, so low

Takes away my choice

 

My weakness was my inhibition

 

 

But the lack

Are my golden, gilded chains

 

You whip away my sensibilities

You strip away my will

You hoard my every other

Thought and Prayer

 

The chain links clacked

They were too strong

 

You never guessed

Your siren song

Could go so wrong

 

That your sucuubi ties

Would make crazy

 

Obsession

 

That your practiced, pretty lies

Would result for you

 

A painful, bold lesson

Reviews

[Sissy Hayley]

Love the way your stanza's differs in the number of lines. A strong poem with plenty of scope for the readers imagination to run away with them. The title is very erotic and love it to bits." The change links clacked" is my favourite line. The alliteration and assonance is excellent. Will review more of your work, but to late now and only joined here yesterday. Wrote an adult poem called "Lowri." Hope you can read it sometime. Its very raunchy.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

as I sighned up under my actual age it wont let me see any of the raunchier things lol :-) But id b glad to look at your work I do so love my reviews! Im glad you liked it

[MusicLover]

I like it. good job little hann-hann

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

once again thanx wa wa! I aalways appreciate the coments from the littlest one :-)

[MusicLover]

zip it. i cant help it if mah chest is small

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

sure ya can! mine used to be :-P

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

and I cant help it if I'm not tall

[MusicLover]

:P

[koty bell]

this was amazing awesome write:)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

thanx! :-)

[Enid Blake]

I liked this, I particularly liked the last stanza :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thanx ! I'm glad you liked it

[Allyson Wolfe]

I love the title, but I love the incredible language!

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thanx so much!! I thought it was fitting :-)