Black and white world

Poem about someone being Man/woman enough to face reality and shedding their nice, cushioney delusions. PLZ READ!

 

 

My world is blind

It's painted black

 

 

 

It's hopeless, Souless

But I'm not going back

 

To blank white walls of lies

They feed on my dreams

 

At least with black

You're sucked into reality

 

My eyes turned to coal

And then my soul

 

I ain't going back

I don't care if I'm whole

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Concise, but still has some good impact. A world of black and white...I've often looked at things this way. Black is the void; the compelation of all colors into one mass, while white is sterile and clean. Personally, I'm a gray person...i like to stay on the fringes of each of these colors.

Nice flow, nice imagery (eyes turn to coal)...only tiny little issue I have is with the last stanza. I would have used "I'm not going back" instead of "ain't"...just a stylistic opinion.

[Vikrantsingh]

Its unique way of conveying such a dark subject in simple and understanding way. Loved the way its presented... Hopefully you must add few more pictures to this poem and it will reflect all you want :)
I loved the content, idea behind it and gesture of expressing it :)

Well written dear :)
Cheers!
Singh :)

[Onku Ghosh]

Nice poem- brief and to the point.You have conveyed your thoughts very well .In this world of black nad white.........

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

my poems tend to be like me. small and blunt lol

[Richard Lane]

Very good

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

its wonderful your world of sparkling plates

[Clockwork]

I like how you build the contrast between the white and the black in this poem. You provide distinct differences between both states of being. You truly bring us into the world of both colors.

I agree with Sarah W. about her stylistic suggestion. Overall though, I like the journey you took me on as the reader, and I'm glad that I found your work!

[Alexa Tasch]

It may be short, but it says so much! The whole message came through loud and clear and I think a black world would be way better than the "blank white walls of lies" This was a truly amazing piece

[Careline]

This poem rips the honest truth of the cruelty of reality right from the clutches of a saccharine fantasy. Nice work!

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thank you kind lady

[Careline]

Ha, I'm hardly a lady. Just a girl, really. :)

[Angeldust-magic]

I apriciate your work :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I appreciate Ur review

[corvus]

Awesome rhyming scheme! Just with the line "Your sucked into reality" it should be "you're" =) But an interesting concept, nicely done =)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

:-)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

if you read into it which suprisingly alot of ppl dont its all about someone being woman enough to face reality and shedding nice cushioney delusions.

[corvus]

ahh, I see...in which case the concept is even better =)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

:-)