Destiny in snow

It's about the result of not being able to handle the drama of the heart

Pink falls to grey

My heart questions

Will I stay

 

He's so cold, and frigid

He's so nice and loyal

He'll never lie 

 

Or cause my heart

To die

 

My puppy is so warm

So protective

 

Broken past forlorn

 

He's so violent

His temper so giant

 

Always demands

To be compliant

 

He's so mean, so harsh

I think my heart's

Held captive

 

I've left him

In my panic

 

Lost and blinded

By my tears

 

The pain

It's caused lost voices

To fall down

 

It has guided me to snow

 

They wisper, "the cold,

it will numb the pain."

My eyes go hallow

Even I feel empty

 

The snow's so soft

 

He's stern but I'll stay

I would've never guessed

Destiny would come today

 

It has come to me in the shadows

In the cold

 

It came at my worst

While I grieve dismay

 

It came, when needed

When nothing was ok

 

Reviews

[S]

quite a work of brilliance, sweetie...

[.]

Wonderful poem! I could really relate! 100/100 Lovin' ur writings!

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I'm glad you liked it kat :-)

[Japanese Cherry]

you did a nice job here...

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thank you...

[Tex]

This reads like a woman is in an abusive relationship. And, trades it for death in the cold snow. The trick (if I am right) is in seeing the switch from "He's" the abusive guy to "He's" the cold outdoors in the snow. I am thinking the switch comes here:

The snow's so soft

He's stern but I'll stay
I would've never guessed
Destiny would come today

It has come to me in the shadows
In the cold

and so I am guessing "It" in that last stanza above is death.

or then again, I could be all wet. but this was a fascinating write even if I read it all wrong. THAT is good writing! high marks from me on this one.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Actually your exactly spot on!! this is about a woman in a anusive relationship. the it was death too your really good at reading into poems!!!
I'm realy glad you enjoyed my piece thanx!!!

[Tex]

Don't you love it when you write something that leaves enough unsaid that it takes a reader real insight to pull it all together... and then someone puts the work into the piece and examines all the clues and figures it out.... Good writing! I always worry that I have over done it on this type of write and no one will be able to put the clues together and figure it out. You Nailed this one...

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I go through the same things I have this one piece I wrote and noone had ever been able to disect it without me explaining it not even any of my teachers. I guess i just write to crypticaly sometimes

[Tex]

well you nailed this one... Kudos...

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

well thank you kindly good sir :-D

[Megan]

this is beautiful, very relatable!

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

thanx im glad you think so :-)

[Anjelica Allen]

I enjoyed the turn from talking about loyalty and then a straight switch to what seems to be a form of betrayal.
I love the lines "It came, when needed / When nothing was ok"

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

thanx!! I rly like that part two :-) I enjoy comparisons

[Christopher Booyakasha]

that was really good
i like it!

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

lol thanx xhris! :-) glad you liked it

[Damien Davison]

Very good poem, an intense ride of emotions and states. You have a very good understanding of how to flow your emotions well. Great!

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

well they say women are an emotional rollercoaster lol so I might as well grab a few captives for the ride

[Castonovia]

Oh, the heart... a force to be reckoned with, confusing at times, to mend or bend others to its will. Raw and intense with frigid longing, you can feel the strong conflict. Lyrical piece indeed, truly dazzling ;)

[Coyote Poetry]

A emotional ride in your poem. You write with a experience pen. I like the strong description making the reader falling into the story in the poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote