The Black Death

The Black Death

A Poem by Emily Dickinson Jr.
"

It's a poem about the black death/ bubonic plague

"

Thump, bang, crash
The bodies fall


The sin has come
And consumed all


The black carriers scurry
Through the night
Like a Grim's pet
They snicker in delight


"Sinners will fall"
Is the message sent

That is

Until each pope falls


"This can't be what god has meant."

 

They know our bodies
Leave us holy
Yet wrought
Tis ailed, diseased


Numbers rise and never drop
Not a soul left behind
Only bodies left behind

The death bell tolls

They rot like a ruin
And the boils boil over
And they decay as they lay


Not a soul left to feel the sorrow
No one to feel an ounce

Of dreadful dismay

© 2013 Emily Dickinson Jr.


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Featured Review

I'm a history nerd, so seeing the words "Black Death" drew me right in. I liked this one quite a bit, my favorite piece of yours that I've read so far. I absolutely love this line:
""Sinners will fall'
Is the message sent
That is
Until each pope falls"

Keep up the good work :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emily Dickinson Jr.

11 Years Ago

lol nice. I have to admit I'm a bit of a history nerd to, the poem was probaly a bit of a hint. I'.. read more



Reviews

Very awesome poem. There are a few grammatical changes and spelling errors, but besides that I like it. I wrote an essay on the plague of the 1600's as my final in College Prep English my senior year of high school. I have it on here too. It's an interesting subject and time in history.

As for any advice on corrections:

"Sinners wil fall" - will

"This cant be what god has meant" - can't and had, as in a past tense statement, since it happened in the past (thankfully!)

"Tis, ailed, diseased" - not sure what was trying to be said here, but I think I get the gist. Maybe write 'tis ailed, diseased" instead?

Hope that helps. Of course you are free to do whatever you like with your own poem, as you wrote it and know how you want it. Keep writing! :)



Posted 12 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

12 Years Ago

I will try to make some corrections
Shane Blackheart

12 Years Ago

It's okay, like I said, it's all up to you in the end. Just helping out a fellow writer :)
Emily Dickinson Jr.

12 Years Ago

yuppers
Very nice! The black death is one of my faavoriter subjects and you captured it perfectly. I could feel the dred and it was so dark. The concept you added of souls and sin was good too. Loved this!!

Posted 12 Years Ago


Hi Emily, you have created good atmosphere in this piece. It is however a little sloppy in parts. Fourth stanza not sure you meant to spell until with two 'ls'. Penultimate stanza you use 'behind' in two consecutive lines. Other than that it is a good poem.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

12 Years Ago

ill fix the until part but not the behind part necause I did that no purpose. Its meant for reaiter.. read more
I really like the hipocrasy of the popes you put in :) it was very clever and of course everyone needs a vein of sacriledge in their poem. Lovely poem

Posted 12 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

12 Years Ago

of course!!! we cudnt have me being predictable now could we? NEVER! lol thanx so much jo :-)
"The numbers raise and never drop" best line.
Good ready :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

12 Years Ago

aww thanx so much EG!
Truth being told.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

12 Years Ago

im glad you agree that was the point
This cant be what god has meant
No one to feel an ounce of dreadful dismay

Change these two lines to the shorter and heavier.

Not a soul left -trapped-
Only bodies left -dropped-
They rot like -acid-

If you add some elusive distortion feeling words, this poem will be a good song lyrics.

Posted 12 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emily Dickinson Jr.

12 Years Ago

awww thanx!! yeah if i meant it as a song I can see how that would work.
Nice job! :D I'm only confused on the part where you said, "They rot like a rot."
I saw the picture in my mind. Very nice job (:

Posted 12 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

12 Years Ago

lol thanx , and rot is both a verb and noun so it works and I couldnt think of anything that sounded.. read more
♥ Kinnixk

12 Years Ago

ohh okay (: I didn't know that.
Emily Dickinson Jr.

12 Years Ago

lol

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Added on July 27, 2012
Last Updated on April 26, 2013
Tags: rats, disease, death, hannah, rose

Author

Emily Dickinson Jr.
Emily Dickinson Jr.

FL



About
Im just a highschool girl. Writing is my hobby and I think Im fairly good at it but I leave you to be the judge of that. :-) my best short stories are: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/poisinros.. more..

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