I'm a history nerd, so seeing the words "Black Death" drew me right in. I liked this one quite a bit, my favorite piece of yours that I've read so far. I absolutely love this line:
""Sinners will fall'
Is the message sent
That is
Until each pope falls"
Keep up the good work :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
lol nice. I have to admit I'm a bit of a history nerd to, the poem was probaly a bit of a hint. I'.. read morelol nice. I have to admit I'm a bit of a history nerd to, the poem was probaly a bit of a hint. I'm really glad you liked it, I actualy wrote in middle-school while they were teaching it. :-) Of course I will always keep it up tis my pleasure.
Very awesome poem. There are a few grammatical changes and spelling errors, but besides that I like it. I wrote an essay on the plague of the 1600's as my final in College Prep English my senior year of high school. I have it on here too. It's an interesting subject and time in history.
As for any advice on corrections:
"Sinners wil fall" - will
"This cant be what god has meant" - can't and had, as in a past tense statement, since it happened in the past (thankfully!)
"Tis, ailed, diseased" - not sure what was trying to be said here, but I think I get the gist. Maybe write 'tis ailed, diseased" instead?
Hope that helps. Of course you are free to do whatever you like with your own poem, as you wrote it and know how you want it. Keep writing! :)
Posted 12 Years Ago
12 Years Ago
by tis ailed diseased I meant that they where ailed and diseased? I didnt think it was very complic.. read moreby tis ailed diseased I meant that they where ailed and diseased? I didnt think it was very complicated. anywho im glad you liked. I write everything on here raw instead og using word so there will inevitable be some basic mistakes and such.
Very nice! The black death is one of my faavoriter subjects and you captured it perfectly. I could feel the dred and it was so dark. The concept you added of souls and sin was good too. Loved this!!
Hi Emily, you have created good atmosphere in this piece. It is however a little sloppy in parts. Fourth stanza not sure you meant to spell until with two 'ls'. Penultimate stanza you use 'behind' in two consecutive lines. Other than that it is a good poem.
Posted 12 Years Ago
12 Years Ago
ill fix the until part but not the behind part necause I did that no purpose. Its meant for reaiter.. read moreill fix the until part but not the behind part necause I did that no purpose. Its meant for reaiteration and emphasis.
lol thanx , and rot is both a verb and noun so it works and I couldnt think of anything that sounded.. read morelol thanx , and rot is both a verb and noun so it works and I couldnt think of anything that sounded better
Im just a highschool girl. Writing is my hobby and I think Im fairly good at it but I leave you to be the judge of that. :-)
my best short stories are: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/poisinros.. more..