What happens when you play god?

poem bout a cherub who cuz she's bored begins 2 toy with ppl's lives She treats them like toys an goes on about the effect of her actions an how something once pure cud go so wrong an evil

On a whim, floats a cloud

With a winged Babe aloft

 

Every good, and every bad

Is laughed at

And written on a writing pad

 

The dollies start to break

And a winged child grows bored

 

Another soul has fallen

And soon Babe has an ocean

 

 

Babe is still bored, and smirks

As she floats on her toy she has wrought

 

She plays with her toys, and the cries increase
Babe soon gets angry; they call her cruel, a beast

Little winged Babe, sinks to the ground
She stomps her feet

 

Pound!Pound!

Pound!Pound!

 

Her oceans now vast, the cries feed its yearn
And now it grows violent

 

The world is shown Babe's scorn

She floats, and she glares; she sinks even lower
As her broken toys turn on her, she runs for cover

 

A cherub once born, now feared as the devil
Baby blue eye's now angry, turn yellow

 

Babe will sink deeper and scream
And her toys will still cry

And call her real mean

 

And still she grows cold, Frozen

In the flames she still lies

 

Her wings disintegrated, while her halo fries

 

She doesn't scream

But her toys

They will die

 

Then she'll play puppets

While she sinks

Where she lies

 

 

© 2012 Emily Dickinson Jr.  All rights reserved

Reviews

[LOfCharlemagne]

Very intresting. It so so diverse from most poems and has a very abstract feel to it. I like that. Like the majority of your poems I have read, it is very well done and enjoyable. However, i do suggest explaining what is going on a little better, as the reader does get somewhat confused from time to time in this. It is a great poem, just could use a little more explination!

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I usually dnt offer much explanation cuz i like pply to come to their own conclusion after analysis but maybe your right some people don't like that

[LOfCharlemagne]

Dont get me wrong, it is good...just feels kind of confusing and unorganized at spots. Didn't make me love it any less though :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Which parts were confusing???

[LOfCharlemagne]

In the start you are speaking about a cloud with a baby, and then it switches to dollies. Thats a real change up. Then things go haywire and it appears to be because babe is bored. Then I assume everybody thinks she is mean because she ate people. Thats just how it appears to me.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Babe is a cherub an angel on a cloud . she gets bored and starts toying with humans on earth and they became her "dollies" and its all about how that goes wrong and turns an angel once pure into something wrong and evil , does it make more sense when you read it like that???

[LOfCharlemagne]

Yes, that makes much more sense! Thank you :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

lol thanx! anything else confuse you now that you got the main idea of the poem?

[LOfCharlemagne]

Not really, I understand now. Its really a good poem! If you get a chance, you should read my poem. You might like it. If your into superheros, you should also check out my story "A letter to Charlemagne"! :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

sure! sounds kool I'v always like the name charlemagne :-) remingds me of my historical fiction books alot for some reason lol

[LOfCharlemagne]

Because Charlemagne(the historical figure) was a turkish king around 900 AD. I always thought it sounded like a superhero, so i made him one :D

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Oh! so that's y he sounded familiar! lol

[Akshita]

It's a really good poem with really different concept.... "And still she grows cold, Frozen
In the flames she still lies"....really liked these lines...awesome write...enjoyed reading it :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I'm Rly glad u liked it! A lot of ppl can't get it, it seems to go over their heads a bit .

[Akshita]

Actually your explanation in the comments helped a bit :P

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Yeah I wrote it in the description to but ppl don't seem to read that.... I don't see it complicated because well I wrote it.

[Akshita]

It's not...but just a little bit idea helps to understand and enjoy it more...and no poem's ever complicated...it's just that words have many different meanings for different people....and sometimes it does not match what the writer wants to say :)

[R.M. Duchene]

Sounds like the fall of lucifer. Very nice :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thanx lol yeah that was the type of idea i Was after

[Chaos_Collector]

Babe is one cold cherub. This poem flows well and took me from the beginning to the end seamlessly. Its different from my usu read but I like it. Good work :)

Chaos_Collector

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thanx chaos :-). I'm glad you like it so much. It is quite different but I think that's what I like about it the very best

[Chaos_Collector]

You're welcome :) I definitely agree with you on that

[John Alexander McFadyen]

An interesting poem in concept and style. It feels like a Greek myth in some ways. Could do itch a little crafting.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

thank you I'm glad you enjoyed the style though I don't understnad what you mean by crafting. I thought the execution itself was pretty simplistic in that it goes in chronological order.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Crafting means going over your work like a sculpture to smooth down rough edges. it is what writers do.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Yeah I guess though I wud hate to ruin it by doing that

[KeeD]

I liked this, was intrigued by the concept and execution of the poem..
I wonder if a cherub can help me find a girlfriend lmao..

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

lol niiice hahah anywho glad you liked it :-)

[KAOlmsted]

Thanks for sharing this with us.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Your very welcome

[John Phoenix Hutchinson..]

You certainly played puppets with this poem.....it pulled all my strings with its uniqueness.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I'm glad you liked it!! its a personal favorite of mine

[alegria]

interesting and very descriptive...very good piece of work:)))

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I'm glad you liked it!!!

[Ireca]

Very interesting poem. I has a feeling the baby was cherub. Very creative.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

yes the baby was a cherub its in the description and theres a picture of the cherub I included