Whatever Hope

Ugh. So sick of thinking about it, analuzing it, writing about it, dreaming of it....!

I miss you so much,

miss what we had.

You always seemed so happy,

but now that's not the case.

I've waited and waited

for our moment to come,

and I'm still waiting.

Still empty-handed.

You've become slightly distant.

Not as much talk of somedays.

Your touch is ice

to my fiery heart,

and you melt through my fingers

and lie, now, at my feet

as a puddle on the floor.

I know you can read.

You know how I feel.

I'm still lost, however, on your thoughts;

your feelings (about me, about us).

I secretly hunt for a hint

in every word, every line,

every chord, every note,

every breath, every sigh of retreat,

every day, every call,

every move, every lack of movement.

I don't think I ever

took you for granted,

but I really didn't think

you'd be gone now.

Maybe I thought that

you'd never be gone.

Maybe I'm stupid.

Maybe I'm blind.

Maybe you said something

and I missed it.

Mixed tapes of our every

recent conversation play

and play on all the time.

Still hunting for that hint.

Still empty-handed.

I dont want to

feel you fading.

I couldn't bare

not having you

reasonably close to me at all times.

I couldn't bare

knowing of the imminent loss

of even our friendship.

Honestly, it's become

all I have, all I want.

Seems, to the sensible,

that all hope is gone,

has been gone for some time,

but I'm still gripping

whatever hope,

still foolishly praying,

still crossing myself in vain,

still begging all the time,

still providing unsolicited excuses,

still blissfully blinded;

Still empty-handed.

Reviews

[UpComesDown]

i love it and i know what it feels like

[Kristin Brecoe]

this is great. i know the emotions and all that not so fun jazz behind it. but im not sure if it is a poem though. maybe more of a prose poem. just cuz i cant point that out, only because i dont have much to say. but hey, you are all happpyyyy nowww. =]