Royse Volume 4

Inspired by a recent trip Vanderbilt.

A dirty dress
and silver shoes.
The world to gain
and nothing to lose.

I bounce as the bullet rocks back and forth
and light flashes on the faces of the dirty and the uncomfortable.
The turquoise leather seat is ripped and nasty.
I just got several hundred dollars BY BEING BAD.
Somehow, as I exit quickly, I leave my stub behind.
And no one blinks a perfect or broken eyelash.

The street, a place where I belong and barely belong,
is cold and complacent... and rain-stained.
Yellow-white eyes are staring, and that's all.
My old, battered heels are DIGGING DEEP DOWN.
I hardly notice the pain, as I am conditioned,
a ballerina on a stage of asphalt and dirty motel beds.

Supporting the fish that need to swim daily
through the canals beneath my itchy skin.
A key taped to the stairwell, and I pray no one
sees me, no one notices, because HIS HAND HOLDS
my mouth closed forever and always and nevermore, I lie.
When I am inside, I crash on the couch, tired and smelly

with sweaty hair
and too-tight shoes.
With everything to gain
and more freedom to lose.

Reviews

[Moflo]

Yes, this is absolutely incredible. Hands down, my favorite piece by you, thanks for turning me onto it. I am in awe, I love the imagery behind your descriptions like "A ballerina on a stage of asphalt and dirty motel beds." Your imagery is immaculate, and I think you give the reader just enough to pave numerous interpretations, which I think keeps poems in the cannon for ages to come. Fantastic piece, really.

[MissWordSmith]

I am in awe of this poem. It was brilliantly written and brilliantly formatted.
the words you used were so amazing.
throughout this poem, as i kept reading i was captured by a sense of ... numbness.. that you portrayed here.
yet, i loved reading your thoughts.
fantastic my friend!

[Jason Henry]

"I hardly notice the pain, as I am conditioned,
a ballerina on a stage of asphalt and dirty motel beds."
that was just brilliant...the whole poem is just brilliant, real...great job!

[Ari]

This is one of the most realistic feeling poems that I have read on here. It isn't cliche, it isn't overdone and blown out of proportion. It feels real, gritty, and dark, and the reader connects immediately to the speaker. Very well done!

[Rita]

Lovely poem! Thanks for entering it in my contest. You have a way of expressing things through a sort of puzzle. If that makes sense...lol

[MAC]

Thank you for entering my contest. This is an amazing poem. I wanted you to know that your poem was in the top seven. I have done many contests and this one was by far the hardest to judge because of the amount of talent here at the cafe. Again thank you for entering this amazing work.

[L.G. Knight]

Really Well Done! Thanks for entering it in the sleepless night poetry competition...

~Frances~

[Nic E]

Wow!! This is really good. I especially loved the line
- With everything to gain and more freedom to lose-
Great contrast and visuals. Seems as if the character is realizing her self worth. Loved it hope I get to that level one day and thank you for your feedback.

[Kristin Brecoe]

wow. now royse volume...what was 1-3. i cant remember.

and i really like this. you paint the picture with out bluntly saying the words.
-kristin

i hope all is well. =]