Chapter 1: When we first met.

Have you ever gotten this creepy feeling, like someone is watching you? I'm having this eeire sense of de ja vue. The dark sky up above isn't helping much in this situation. As the night closes in inch by inch I start to get chills down my back. I start humming in my head to make the bad thoughts leave. The trees swayed in the slight breeze when I start to hear foot steps behind me...

 

"Holy s**t!", I screamed as something grabbed me from behind. I was thrown up into the air and hanging over someone's shoulder. I was kicking and screaming when he threw me up against an alleyway wall. My head slammed back and blood trickled down my neck.  

 

"Would you stop that?!", by the bloody nose and swollen cheek I could see that I had gotten a few good kicks in. But now he was angry. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His hold on my shoulders got slightly gentler.

 

Just do what he says and don't get him angry. I thought to myself. It will be okay.

 

My eyes were clamped shut as the pain in my head got more pronounced.

 

"Now look what you did!", he yelled as he turned me around and held my hands together behind my back with one of his. He parted my hair to look at the damage. My vision was getting blurred. His voice sounded as if he wished he wasn't doing this.

 

That didn't change my mind on the fact i was being kidnapped

 

"I-I can't s-see." I said tears coming from my eyes. Not from pain; from fear. "Please, d-don't hurt m-me"

 

"Ugh! I'm not going to hurt you. Trust me on that." He said, I could also hear apology in his tone.

 

The sense of De ja vue I was feeling, I can now remember, was when I once watched a movie with my father. I was hiding behind the sofa, for I wasn't aloud to watch such movies. A girl got kidnapped in this movie, she was kidnapped, raped, then sliced across the neck and thrown in a dumpster to be found the next day. Though I know my father knew I was there, he never said anything. And now I might not ever see him again. Tears started streaming down my cheeks as this realization hit. I could be this city's next victim.

 

With my hands still behind my back he pulled me off the wall and sort of pushed me along down the street.

 

He took a sharp turn and we entered an apartment building. The place was smoky inside. It made my eyes water, but you wouldn't notice for I was already crying. There were men inside. No women that I could see. So I got creepy smiles and grins from all sides as they looked me up and down.

 

Without thinking about it I yanked away from the kidnapper and sprinted in the direction of the door. Instead of ending outside I smacked hard into a large body. And instead of falling back and hitting the ground two strong arms caught me. Let's give thanks it was the kidnapper instead of one of the creepy men in the room. I looked up to see him looking down at me. I couldn't see his face though, it was too dark inside.

 

"Please don't do that", he said gently. And I knew I wouldn't.

 

I just nodded instead of speaking, He stood me up and I brushed myself off. He took my arm and lead me upstairs onto the third floor to room 328. I will remember this number, for the rest of my not-seeming-so-long-now-life. He opened the door and I walked inside.

 

Unlike two floors below it was fairly nice in this room. It was big and quite fancy. He sat me down onto the sofa and left into another room. I pulled my legs up to my chest and let my mind wander.

 

"Lord, please. Don't let him or anyone else hurt me. What if he lied, what if I'm going to die. Or worse.... That movie has put these images in my head. If only I would've listened. Ugh! Why am I so stupid?!"

 

I finished that thought as he walked into the room and sat down across from me. He had his head in his hands and i could tell he was deep in thought. Outside I could hear rain starting. Right about now my mother would be pacing, wondering where I am. I couldn't tell her; for I don't even know.

 

Right then there was a knock on the door. He got up and looked in the peep hole. With a deep sigh he locked the door and walked to me.

 

"I need you to keep as quiet as you can.", he whispered. "Those men out there will hurt you, if they get the chance." 

 

I just nodded, new tears entering my eyes. What kind of a world s this?

 

"Do you need anything?", he asked me, I could hear sincerity now, sincerity and anguish. I couldn't look into the eyes of my potential murderer, so instead I looked at the clean, white carpet.

 

"N-no thank you...", stuttering seems to be the wrong thing right now.

 

He sat down next to me holding his head in his hands again. Outside I could hear more than one man yelling through the door. "C'mon J! You need to learn how to share your candy!", There was snickering going on too.

 

How much trouble I'm in. I don't know. But if anything. This man next to me won't hurt me. I finally looked up at him to see him doing the same. He was tall. Tall and strong. His face was hidden though. Will I never inmask this man?

 

"C-can I ask why?", I asked him and I knew he knew what I meant.

 

"Right now, your family.. they're being taken. You're safer with me. I know it doesn't seem this way, but the men out there won't get to you. Me and you... we're going to run away at first light. Okay?"

 

Again, I just nodded. "M-my family?"

 

He nodded. "They're being taken by someone by the name of Robert Frost. Heard of him?"

 

I went through my mind to see if I could remember the name. It sounded familiar. But I couldn't place my finger on it.

 

I shook my head. "I didn't think so.", He said. He looked me up and down and sort of bit his lip. "I'm gonna need you to change. Wearing short skirts and tank tops in this part of New York won't do you any good, you can borrow some of my clothes if you like. There's a lock on the door if you still don't trust me."

 

I nodded and stood up. "First door on the right. Just go through the dresser."

 

I went where he said and did what he said. I locked the door and went through his dresser making sure to keep things as organized as he had it. I slipped in a pair of jean shorts and an Aeropostale t-shirt.

 

When I walked out he looked up from the exact place where he had been. A big smile lit up his face and I realized that he could only be a few years older than me. So he's no creepy old man at least. And if you were to just see him walking by on the street, instead of being kidnapped of course, he could be quite cute.

 

"Sorry, they're a little big.", an impish smile replaced the grin.

 

I rolled my eyes and sat down next to him, careful not to slide out of the too-big jeans. Being an average 5"7 weighing about 126 pounds, putting on a man's clothes couldn't be too much fun. I crossed my arms over my chest.

 

"Do you have a name?", he asked me trying to make conversation.

 

"Molly.", I said harsher than intended, "And yours?"

 

He gave me a half-smile and said,"Justin. It's nice to meet you Molly."

 

"Heh...", was all I could think of, it's not so nice being kidnapped. After all the comotion I forgot about my head until it throbbed and I felt a slight sting. I hissed and put my hand over the scabbing wound.

 

"Oh! I forgot about that. Hear let me.", Justin said, taking my hand and leading me to the kitchen. My hand tingled ever so slightly.

 

He got a wet paper towel and placed it over the wound. On top of the paper towel he placed an ice pack.

 

"That should be suffice for now. I'm really sorry about that.", his voice sounded yet again sincere. I had no obligations.

 

I realized the yelling and snickering had died down outside the door. I could tell he saw that too.

 

"If you don't mind me asking, how old you are?", he looked at me with curiosity and apology.

 

"I'm seventeen.", I said also noticing that the stutters were gone. "How old are you?"

 

With a big smile he said ," Nineteen, so you're not as young as I thought. Of course, with the kicks you threw at me I could've assumed that already."

 

I turned around to look at him then, and a smile spread across my face. Maybe this situation wouldn't be so bad after all.

Reviews

[The Language of Birds]

This is a really good start. Your title caught my eye, so good job on that choice. In the beginning when you get the sense of deja vu, I wonder if you can let the environment help you show the feeling rather than you telling about it. For example, what if the dark sky was slowly pressing in on you, damp wind breathing against your neck... then bam you are grabbed.

good horror movies have a way of doing this, using the environment to add to the tension. Stephen King said that we are not as afraid of the monster on the other side of the door as we are the imagination of what is there before the door is opened. Let that sensibility guide you as you move through this piece.

Your action and pace afterward are great, as well as the pacing of the dialogue. A possibility, referring back to King's comments about tension and fear, what if your character doesn't see the kidmappers face until later in the story.... or maybe even not at all...

Good read. I wish you the best as you continue.

Jim C-D

[Frederick E. Conkling]

This is a great start. Very descriptive, well written. Can't wait to see where this goes.

[unspokenguilt]

very interesting and entertaining

[mae-mae<3]

In the first paragraph it should be light not slight breeze. I'm just too tired to change it right now. :)