No One Gets It

I was very depressed when I wrote this, and I am no longer. But this is another one of those that's really personal for me.

The misery
         denial
                fear
                    anger
                        frustration

The tears that so desperately want
to fall
        to reveal me
                 to help me
                      to show that I'm
in pain
              that I'm scared
                ashamed of myself
            I don't understand myself
              no one gets it

I always try to look happy
     Why can't they see through
that?
        The ones that do,
they joke or tease or tell me this is who i am
       that I can be happier once I've accepted it and
moved on
            But how do they know?

My best friend struggles to accept it
My own father would either torture me or disregard it
       NO ONE GETS IT!!!!!!
They don't feel that pain in my tears when they fall
The uncertainty CONSTANTLY racing through my mind
Thinking about the possible irreversible damage done after coming
out
               How could I ever go back?
         How would I escape?
    What's the prison: my mind or the world?
                  Which is stronger?

Author's Note

Ignore grammar

Reviews

[beautiful dreamer]

wow. we may have totally different interpretations of this poem but it makes me think of what i am going through. you hit straight home. so it's really relatable. terrific writing keep doing what your doing :)

[Fuego31]

Writing these is what kept me sane during one of the most difficult times in my life (this was written in 2011). But I'm glad you feel such a relation to it, though I'm sorry for whatever it is you're going through. I originally never intended to show these so publicly, which is why they're so open. But from reviews like yours, I'm glad I've done both. If you need someone to talk to, I'm just a message away :)