Young hopeful.

Sonnet in tetrameter

Young hopeful

 

I brushed my teeth and combed my hair

I hoped to charm a lady fair.

She never even noticed me.
Perhaps she didn’t want to see

My older brother laughed at me.

He said I was too young to be.

Making eyes at older girls

 with bright blue eyes and golden curls

He said she was too old for me.

But I suspect that secretly

He is afraid that I might be

 flirting more successfully

That he can do at twenty two.

A touch of green eyed jealousy.

 

Friday, 25 March 2011

http:// blog.myspace.com/poeticpiers

Reviews

[nothingnothingforgetfor..]

Brothers are constantly interferring.. mine drives me crazy so i can totally agree with this. Beautiful penned out flows wonderfully and it plays before your eyes like a black and white cinema, wonderful!

[Tom Benson]

The words flow like a gentle stream with this impeccable meter. This was a delight to read for so many reasons.

[Jasmine]

haha, lovely - I usually don't like old-fashioned metre/ form, but this is wonderful. Good old sibling rivalry, and naive teenage crushes. You've done a brilliant job here :)

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

Infatuation of the young man, a part of growing up. Well expressed my friend.

[Robin]

rutting season ~ nicely done