Go with my blessing.2010

rhyming quatrains

Go with my blessing 2010

 

The  Jesus freaks are out in force.

Because it’s Sunday morn of course.

They are convinced that they are right

I find it hard to be polite.

 

Although I can respect their views.

They do not have the right to choose

To ring my bell and pester me.

I keep my Sunday mornings free.

 

To do the things I want to do.

I do not want to listen to

 their view of Christianity.

Because it makes no sense to me.

 

They do not seem to understand

that they must leave when I demand.

I like to keep my property

free from religious bigotry..

 

Friday, 17 December 2010

http:// blog.myspace.com/poeticpiers

 

Reviews

[Marie Harrison]

I don't blame you at all. I don't like personal issues like religion, values and beliefs pushed onto me either. It is my opinion, people that do these things should be avoided. Now days, it's not wise to let any strangers into your home. Our world is too dangerous for that now. I am a Christian, but matters such as these are very personal. Their are better avenues to reach people for these matters. Going to someones personal property is too much of an invasion of their privacy.

[Havatara]

So very true. Some people can be so annoying when it comes to forcing their religious views onto others. Great write and happy holidays.

[Short.Nerd]

Very honest and truthful. Amazing job!

[Jazique]

Strong words nice job. I christian but i do agree no one should ever be forced into a religion besides I've seen our past records of it some of us were not very nice at it. Take indian and africa tribes before we all butted in. Must wait until your heart leads you to the truth.

[Invisible Ink]

Strong words, good message. First, the poem itself...
I love this line... "I keep my Sunday mornings free"...I think it would be a great title, or jump off for another poem. Something about the symbolism of a Sunday morning is always intriguing, I like this contrast between the relaxing quiet time of Sunday morning and these intrusive interruptions. For so many people, Sunday morning symbolizes Church, worship, etc., while for others it is lazy mornings, coffee & NY Times. I do like your title as well... it's sarcastic? because blessings are usually seen as religious... but I don't quite see it in the poem? Just came to mind, something like, "Sunday Knocks on My Door"?
I think the rhyming is good but a little overpowering... I suggest adding an un-rhymed line as line 3 of 5 in each stanza, this would also allow you to add more details and depth... for example...

To do the things I want to do.
I do not want to listen to
the outdated dogmas of
their view of Christianity.
Because it makes no sense to me.

I like to keep my property
free from religious bigotry..

Symbolism and dream interpretation says that the house symbolizes our minds... the attic is our subconscious and so on... so this last part is great... it is not just your physical property, your house and lawn, but your conscious, your thoughts, your believes... they are not just interrupting your Sunday morning, but your peace of mind.
Great write! The more it makes me think and say, the better I think the poem is. Well, these are just my suggestions, I think you are starting with something thought-provoking and that revising will make it stronger, as it always does. Thanks for the poem! And the message... as a nonreligious person myself, it is a little disarming and uncomfortable, at times, living in a super religious country & society! Sure, there is "religious freedom" in the good ole USA, but you are still persecuted if you don't follow the majority view.

[Loner]

An honest write i must say!

[msharma]

An honest view about life as felt is told.Applauding work.

[ice]

Love this, it really isn't a rant..just honest feelings...
I try to tell people who push me towards their religion that I am happy with life..
and do not fear death, and hate money...none of them have understood what I am saying...when I say..something like you did

"I keep my Sunday mornings free."

To do the things I want to do.
I do not want to listen to
their view of Christianity.
Because it makes no sense to me."

They do not understand when I tell them that I see the face of the energy entity in the full moon rising up through my hickory woods.

They would not understand this poem.

ice

[Lilly]

A strong and wonderfully constructed write. I'm sure it would create a stir among some people...definetely a great expression of your view and belief and I believe that is to be respected - as with anyones views / beliefs...

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This poem hits home with me. I had a little controversy in my
life when I decided to go non-denominational. lol

Awesome speech!