Future Perfect

Poem in Geordie Dialect

 

 

Future Perfect

 

Two auld biddies gossiping

aboot their hubbies suffering.

 My Albies plagued with aches and pains

Ye knaa he’s got varry close veins..

 

That’s aaful pet her friend replied.

With eagerness she could not hide

My Fred has a cardiac heart.

 That’s bad enuff just for a start.

 

He has a gastric stomach too.

He’s hard to live with I tell you.

 Aah dee me best as ye well knaa,

 he’s only happy doon the bar.

 

Supping beer he shouldn’t have

 he’ll drive me to an orly grave

Ye knaa hinny but for us

 they’d starve to death Its curious.

 

Theres neither of them fit te work

Aah wonder sometimes if the shirk

but we gan on as women dee .

We have nee time to be poorly.

 

They said Tara and went their way.

 They’d had their gossip for the day.

 There’s hoosework waiting to be dyun

we get nee help from anyone.

 

His lordship likes to lie in bed

He’s like a bear with a sore head.

 If Aah distorb him early on

 before the noonday buzzers gone.

 

He gets up shouting for his grub.

His breakfast forst then doon the pub.

 It hurts to see him suffer so

aah doot he hasn’t lang to go.

 

His funerals paid for at the store

 that’s one worry aah can ignore.

 Aah’ll be a widow woman then

Aah divvent think aah’ll wed again.

 

AAh’ll get mesel a bungalow

wi lace cortins in the window.

 Aah have a black dress put away

 ah divest wear it ivory day

 

Aah keep it by for funerals

 it’s ower fancy for me gals.

 Aah’ll wear it when they bury me

a sight Aah will not live te see.

 

AAh’ll be alone when Fred has gone

but dee me best to carry on.

Nee lazy man to bother me.

 Aah think aah’ll manage easily.

 

8-Sep-08

 

http:// blog.myspace.com/poeticpiers

Reviews

[David Lewis Paget]

Dialect is one of the hardest things to write. To do it effectively, as you have done here, is worthy of great praise. I take it the biddies are 'Oirish' or at the least, Scottish. The two accents are very close. Of course, the greatest writer in dialect was Robbie Burns, who was brilliant, but unless you're Scottish, sometimes dificult to decipher. Great stuff, Piers... Very human!

[FoolsGold23]

Nehehehe!!! I loved this one!! almost felt like I was sitting between two biddies and haranguing their shiftless menfolk. honestly, I loved the kick at the end and the way you led the dialogue through it, I'm going to read it out loud first chance I get, dialectic poetry is just so much fun to read!! Great Piece!~Pyrite

[DeeWV]

This gave me quite a chuckle. How absolutely adept you are at writing the accent of the
language into this poem. I really could picture & "hear" the two of them talking.

DeeWV

[Leah]

*applauds* You are another Master I will take pleasure in looking up to.