I should have known.

poem

 

 

 

I should have known.

 

Dined with the devil yesterday.

A charming chap I have to say.

He was quite debonair and gay

and conversed in a cultured way.

 

He did his best to tempt me to

do the things one shouldn’t do.

But as he offered nothing new

to my own standards I held true.

 

I do not claim I’m innocent

 I have done things which I repent.

 A truth which is self evident

and not a cause for discontent.

 

He smiled at me disarmingly

 and whispered to me charmingly.

He was content to wait and see

Sure I would fall eventually.

 

That he could wait there was no rush.

 I had to jump he could not push

He wished me well, went on his way

 but stuck me with the bill to pay.

 

12-Jun-08

 

http:// blog.myspace.com/poeticpiers

Reviews

[Brianna Brie]

lol...great ending! Love the image of dining with the devil. I could just see the two of you at a table with dainties. Super poem.

[David Lewis Paget]

I love it! I love the jaunty rhythm, the emphatic rhyme which, nevertheless, never descends into doggerel. I disagree with your friend Freund, in his assessment of the rhyme 'rush/push'. Surely, this is assonance, a well respected and widely used device in rhyming poetry. Great stuff, Piers!
David.

[Y.F.]

Oh, what a marvelous idea, and a great performance as well.
I actually had a similar idea not so long ago, and I'll be sure to let you read it if I'll ever get to it.
I still have a smile on my face from reading the final line, and the picture you've painted is still vivid in my mind.

2 notes I've felt obligated to share:
- The rhyming scheme is really great throughout the poem, but in the last stanza you've broke that scheme with rush-push.
Rush has a soft u, while push has a strong one - try saying them out loud.
- "I have done things which I repent" - I really like this line, and it's part of my favorite stanza.
Grammar-wise "I have done things which I've repent" is better, because your version suggests you've repent all of them at a specific time.
Thank you for sharing this great piece with us.

[Constance]

This is a fantastic little rhyme you've created here. I had to chuckle, yet felt like it said something about human nature, that is serious, at the same time. Humor is always wonderful served in this way.

[Damian Alan Gray]

If a poem about the Devil could ever be charming, this is the one. But this truly isn't about the Devil, is it? I see it more as a lesson in how we (being entirely human) and temptations (being entirely conceptual) are forever at odds with one another. Unfortunately, our stamina and willpower does not often win over concepts.

[TL Boehm]

oh this one made me chuckle. There is serious truth in this light poem. IF he can't get you outright...he'll stick you with the bill.

[Moonlight]

I absolutely loved this poem. Very refreshing, quite different also. I liked the way you've put the scenario into something so real that one can identify with it at once.
The last line is well-written to, it signifies the consequences one has to pay for dining with the Devil!!
Once again, beautiful work! Although I must tell you I do not think that the line -

"I should have know"

should come at the beginning as well as the end. I felt that it should be the last line also.
-Moonlight

[Samuel Dickens]

Well, isn't that just like old Scratch? He probably had the filet mignon, too. A righteous man who yields not to temptation is very admirable, indeed. A great poem, Poeticpiers. Sam