I shant be long

sonnet

 

I shant be long

 

The swamp lies still beneath the moon

Cicadas whirr incessantly

 the bull frogs add bass to the tune.

Natures night time symphony.

 

I walk the paths we used to walk.

Together always hand in hand

recalling how we used to talk.

The children do not understand.

 

My need to walk alone at night

where I can feel your presence near

It has become a sacred rite

 a ritual that I hold dear

..

Whilst I wait impatiently

to join you where you wait for me.

 

28-Mar-08

Reviews

[R.R.Louderback]

This was quite romantic in every sense of the word. Good job! You might try "A moonlit night time symphony" for line 4 (if I may be so bold) to mend the meter.

[Syke]

Very good, but the last line of the first (second?) stanza is one syllable less than the other lines as well as the first line of the last stanza. It was a very good, touching poem though. It really must be hard to talk about such things, I can't even begin to understand I think, but it was very touching. I am rather curious why this was filed as a story instead of a poem? It is very good though, no, GREAT! FABULOUS!

[Dawn]

i know something as deep as this is hard to share, but beautifully written.