So close, Yet so far

Every night I lie alone
Wishing for more than a voice over the phone
I long to feel your breath upon my skin
Or smell your fragrance in the wind
Missing looking into your seducing eyes
There's not a moment that you don't cross my mind
This distance between us is killing me inside
But there's no one else I see in my life
Everytime I lay eyes on you it's poetry in motion
No expression of words can relate to the beauty you're submerged in
You're my angel sent from above
The goddess venus has nothing on you my love
A blessing it is to have you next to me
I thank god each moment when i think of your name
All i desire is you and I growing old together with my last name

Reviews

[OfDeathandLove]

I love the passion put into this. You can tell how much the writer really cares for his love.

However, just a few hints - First of all, touch up on grammar, especially on capitalizing "I"s. This is a published piece of work, so you should make sure it looks professional. Second, I like your rhyme scheme, but if there is a consistent rhyme scheme, normally there'd be a consistent meter. Read it aloud and make sure it flows. It's a little hard to read when it doesn't. Lastly, don't rhyme "name" with "name".

With just these few touch-ups, this poem could be great.