THE DEPRIVED... Chapter 3...Part 24.

A continuation of my book.

Beth woke up to the night, her eyes searching the dark as she lay without moving. It took a few minutes for her to recall her bearings and then sudden recall caused her to put her hands beneath the blanket, feeling at her stomach and knowing the rounded swell was now gone.
“My baby.” she whispered and sat up, her eyes searching the room for sight of a crib.
Even in the gloom Beth could see no sign of a crib and it was then the fear clutched at her breast and she began to call out.
“Where’s my baby!” she shouted, the cry losing itself in the night.

It was the next day that Sister Maria settled herself on the chair next to the bed and folded her hands in her lap.
“How are you, Beth?” she asked.
“Where is my baby?”
“We shall talk of the baby in a moment. It is more important to know how you are.” said Sister Maria.
“I want to see my baby, Sister Maria. Why can’t I see it? I haven’t a twinkling of whether it’s a girl or boy. Where’s my baby, that’s all I want to know?”
Sister Maria held up a hand to stop the outpouring.
“I find this very hard, Beth. But I’m afraid you are not to see the baby.”
“Why not? It’s my baby and I’ve a right!” stormed Beth.
“If you insist in shouting and demanding then how am I able to explain.” said Sister Maria as she rose from the chair and now stern in her approach.
Beth lay back on the bed and became quiet.
“Now Beth.” began Sister Maria, seating herself once more. “There are times when a baby is not born in a right condition and though we pray to the Lord to give the child strength there are times when the good Lord will call his sheep unto him.”
Beth lay still, trying to take in what Sister Maria was telling her.
“My baby is dead? Is that what you’re telling me now? Has my baby gone to heaven?” cried Beth, her breathing tight as her heart felt the burden of losing her child.
“The Lord works his wonders and there are times when we here on this earth do not get what we want.”
Beth began to cry.
Sister Maria rose from the chair.
“We must be strong, child. I shall go now and pray for you and for myself. I will pray for both our sins.”
Beth cried bitterly as Sister Maria made her way to the chapel and knelt at the altar, praying for forgiveness. No, she had not lied to Beth, the girl had supposed the truth.

 

“When you arrive at the convent, Beth, give the Mother Superior my best wishes. I know you will find your true self there. Farewell now Beth and may God go with you.” said Sister Maria.
Beth sat well wrapped in the horse-drawn carriage. She neither answered nor did she look at Sister Maria. Nor did she look back as the carriage pulled out of the yard of the Workhouse and through its large gates. The ride back from Deptford was long and tedious. There was building work being done at the old London Bridge which held the traffic up for over an hour while drivers fussed, pressed loud hooters and blew on whistles and while horses stamped their hooves with impatience. By the time the carriage has reached the wide road which joined Whitechapel to Mile End the daylight had lost its high and the dark had taken its place. Beth tried hard to keep her eyes open as the carriage toiled its way through the traffic of the East-End and pulled up at the gate of the Mothers of Mercy convent. The driver of the carriage reached out and pressed on the horn, blasting out its arrival. The gate was opened to allow the carriage to enter and Beth stepped down rather unsteadily, stretching the discomfort of the journey from her limbs.

“You must be Beth?” asked the young girl who stood there, dressed severely in a long black woollen robe and who now accepted the bag which was lifted down by the driver.
Beth nodded.
“Then I’ll bid you welcome to your new home.” said the girl.
The carriage had wheeled its way about and made its way back out through the gates. The girl closed and bolted the gate.
“Come on, Beth. Come with me.”
Beth followed the girl across the front yard.
The convent was not one whole building but more a ramble of small buildings which had passages leading from one to the other. Though the atmosphere appeared to be stark and sombre and having a darkness about it there was a joy of noise and sounds of laughter coming from inside, though not coming from those nuns who seemed to move swiftly about their duties, their long habits hiding their feet so that it seemed to Beth that they moved about on silent wheels. Beth was led into one of the buildings which seemed to be more a school with a lot of young girls, uniformed in long black woollen dresses with dark brown smocks as a covering. Some stopped to stare at Beth before giggling and hurrying on.
“Hurry along, girls. You will be late for prayers.” said the girl with Beth.
“You’re not a Nun are you?” asked Beth as she was ushered into a long low room with tables lined down the center.
“Of course I’m not. Well not just yet. I’m training to become one. I’m what is called a Postulant and soon I will be ready to go out and work within the community. My job will be to help the poor. My name is Joy though when I do take my vows and become a Nun I will be able to choose a name for myself.”
“Will I be able to go out sometimes?” inquired Beth.
“Not straight away, Beth. When you have been here for a year and you have shown yourself to be trustworthy then you will be allowed to come with the Nuns and assist them in the work among the poor. That depends on your attitude, of course. Some girls are not taken to seeing how the poor live, the squalor which surrounds them.”
Beth smiled.
“Well, I’m not too keen to be among the poor again. I have seen how being poor works already and I’m not keen to be among it again.” she said.
“I shall get you something to eat and then you will need a bath and set out with clothes before I take you up to your dormitory. They’re a noisy bunch of girls up there and you will have to be clever in who you choose as friends.”

 

Joy left Beth sitting at one of the tables and went to fetch her some food. Somewhere in the distance a bell rang and there came a group of Nuns in dark habits whispering the floor as they moved silently in and out, going about their business.
Beth smiled. At least there was no strictness about this convent, less than Beth expected and not as there had been in the last place she had visited.
“Eat that and then I shall have you bathed and dressed before taking you up to your dormitory.” said Joy, returning with a plate full of food.
Having eaten Beth was led up to the room which had a tin bath of warm water ready and a set of clothes to put on, her old clothes taken away and boxed.
“Can you read and write?” asked Joy as she helped Beth get dressed.
“Only a small bit.” admitted Beth.
The clothing was rough and had Beth tugging at the high neckline.
“We have an education class here where you will be taught to read and write.” promised Joy as she led the way up the staircase.
“This is your dormitory. The candles are put out soon so hurry and make your bed, it’s over there.” said Joy pointing to the empty bed.
“I’ll help her!” shouted a dark haired girl, jumping from her bed and bounding over like a happy puppy, her face split into a wide grin.
“You come along with me, ducks.” she said, pulling at Beth’s hand.
“Well, you take care of Beth and no bad manners, otherwise you’ll have to deal with Sister Dominique and you know how strict she is.” said Joy, leaving Beth with the girl who had begun to show her how to make up the bed.
“Me name’s Florrie but you can call me Flo. What’s yours?”
“My name’s Beth.”
“Irish, huh? I can tell by your accent.”
“Who is she?” asked the girl in the bed opposite.
“Her name’s Beth!” shouted Flo, turning round to face the girl. “She’s from Ireland.”
“Where’s that?” asked another girl as heads seemed to pop up from each bed.
“That’s where all them Nuns come from, aint it?” answered Flo, which started the girls laughing.
Beth sat on the bed and stared round at the beds which lined the two walls.
“There’s twelve beds in here and the same’s in the next dormitory.” instructed Flo.
“But them next door is the nippers” she continued. “And the goody-goods who aint got a nerve to mess, aint that to right, girls?”
There were shouts of agreement from the heads which peered out from the blankets. Beth looked round nervously, remembering her stay in the last dormitory where no-one was allowed to talk.
“See!” said Flo, calling her attention. “In here we aint shy of a larking and it’s good fun to be had although.” here Flo waved a finger. “It aint good to gets the catching from the Nuns, the old creeping Jesus women. They is as liable to open the doors and throw you out on the same street as where you come from.”
Beth had begun to undress, laughing gaily at the blatant nature of the cheeky girl who now did a cartwheel down the centre aisle, her nightdress tumbling down over her head.
“Aint no good as to get caught!” Flo shouted once again as Beth pulled her nightdress on and climbed into bed.

“What’s all this noise!”
The severity of Sister Dominique was obvious. She was tall and stern of nature with a long face and set mouth which told she would brook no nonsense. Walking up the centre aisle she took in each bed, stopping long enough to look at each face as if planting it into her memory. On her way back she stopped at Beth’s bed.
“You’re the new girl.” she stated, not as a question.
“She’s just in getting here!” called out Flo from her bed.
“Be quiet, Florence! Be quiet, otherwise you will be called to double prayers. Not that it will do you any good!”
Flo pulled a face and hid under the blankets.
“What’s your name?” asked Sister Dominique.
“My name’s Beth.”
“Then I shall call you Elizabeth as it is right to be called. And I might warn you not to be drawn into that girl’s frightful nature.” said the Sister, pointing down to where Flo lay.
“Now let’s have less noise and go to sleep all of you. Good night to you all.”
Sister Dominique walked to where each candle flickered and blew out the light, setting the room into darkness.
“Goodnight, Sister Dominique.” called Flo.
“Goodnight.” answered Sister Dominique firmly before leaving the dormitory and closing the door.
Beth settled sleepily down into the bed and yawned. This was nothing like she expected. The place was like a happy home and Beth said a silent prayer of thanks. She closed her eyes tight and said a prayer for her baby, whispering the name Polly, the name she would have given the child had it lived. It was sure to have been a girl, Beth had determined. Each night she promised herself she would say the same prayer and knowing the baby would hear it wherever she was.
Sleep came quickly and she dreamed of herself and the baby.