THE DEPRIVED... Chapter 3... Part 22.

A continuation of my book.

It was into the third week of her sentence when the door was opened and she was informed that she might spend a half hour out in the small exercise yard for some fresh air. Beth walked out into the open yard and turned her face up at the sunlight. She quickly shut her eyes tight and covered them over with her hands. The cell had been set in dim light with the small barred window having sacking material covering it. Coming out into direct sunlight as she did meant the sunlight blinded her for a while. Gradually Beth was able to open her eyes to see other women and a young girl, about a dozen in all, seated on the ground of the yard with hands pressed in silent prayer. At each end of the yard there stood a uniformed Master holding a truncheon. One of them waved his truncheon at Beth and motioned her to sit down and do as the others did. Squatting, Beth pressed palms together as she breathed in great gulps of fresh air.
“All up and standing!” shouted the Master at the far end. “One person at a time is to leave and return to your cell. Start from left to right and if you aint got a knowing of left and right I’ll hold up my left arm, like this!”
Being the last to come out into the yard, Beth was the last to go back in and relished every second out in the open and to see other people even though no words were allowed.

In a strange way the last week seemed to drag along the worst. Beth hammered relentlessly at the stones, pulverising them to dust in an almost savage way and counting each day, the urge to be free biting into her mind so that she began whispering to herself the measured images of seconds, minutes and the endless hours of each day right up until the time when the cell door was opened and a Master stood there with a bucket of cold water. Setting down the bucket along with a hard block of soap and brush there came the instructions that she was to take the mattress outside while she scrubbed out the cell ready for the next occupant.
“Then.” instructed the Master. “Replace the mattress all tidy as you found it when you first entered the cell!”
Never was a chore as sweet as the scrubbing, with Beth diligently working into each corner and edges with a certainty of leaving no evidence of her stay.

 

The Master lead her back up the stairs and into the sunlight of the main yard to continue the walk until he left her standing in the dormitory she had left some weeks previous. The girls looked at her curiously, some whispering while others giggled.
“Stop the noise!”
The new head girl was tall with a rounded mop of ginger hair which capped a white face. She smiled warmly, softening her face as she came forward.
“Bed number four.” she said as she pointed.
Beth returned the smile, finding an instant liking for the girl. Going to the bed she found that her dress and smock had been laid out for her. Taking off her nightdress, she put on the clothes.
“Your boots are under the bed.” whispered the girl who stood by the next bed.
Beth did not look at the girl, not wanting to be caught talking in the dormitory. Instead she bent down to retrieve the shoes and whispered as she bent over.
“Thank you for your telling me. My name’s Beth.”
“My name is Winnie.” came the returned whisper.
Beth was so pleased to hear another voice beside her own that she giggled aloud at the name. Winnie had been her Grandma’s name.
The head girl looked up and caught Beth’s eye and pointed at the sign over on the far wall. The words read… ‘Silence allows the Lord to work.’
Although Beth could not read too well, she knew what the words meant and nodded as she put a finger to her lips.

 

Lying on the bed Beth faced towards Winnie. The girl had done the same and they examined each other in silence. Winnie was a lot younger than Beth, aged about ten by Beth’s reckoning. She was small-boned but with a fine face which marked out her beauty. The eyes were round and had a startling natural blue depth which closed in a sly and cheeky wink. Beth winked hugely in return, blinking both eyes in an unwieldy way so her mouth turned up in an awkward manner. This had Winnie holding both hands over her mouth to smother a fit of giggles. They continued to stare at each other, sharing winks until Winnie whispered.
“I have to go soon and empty the slop-pots.”
“I can help you.” offered Beth, sitting up on the bed and holding her hand up as she waved towards the head girl. The head girl nodded, motioning with her hand that Beth could come and speak to her.
“What is it, number four?” she asked quietly as Beth approached her.
“Number three is on duty to empty and wash out the slop-pots. I want to help her.”
“If you feel you ought to help her then do so, number four. I know of your problems in here and will tend to go light on you” said the head girl.
“My name’s Beth.” whispered Beth.
“My name’s Annie May.” came the whispered reply.
Returning to where Winnie waited at the foot of her bed, Beth nodded and left with her, going into the small side ablution room and collecting the buckets then hurrying down to the ash-pits where they emptied the slops before drawing up water from the well.
“It’s lovely to have a good friend.” giggled Winnie as they scoured the buckets.
For a moment her words reminded Beth of Dora, the young daughter back in the debtor’s prison.
“It’s always in good heart to have a friend to share times with.” replied Beth, struck again by the young girl’s beauty.
The girls spoke of hard times as they worked, hurrying the scouring then running back up the stairs to replace the clean buckets in the slop-room before returning to the dormitory.

Beth had promised to help Winnie with the buckets every morning and at night times before bedtime prayers. Winnie had smiled as they lay in their beds and then reaching out in the dark with her fingers to touch Beth’s outstretched hands before drifting off to sleep.

Each day Beth would help with cleaning the buckets before breakfast and then hurry down to the Oakum Room where she sat with Winnie, both of them side-mouthing speech as they spiked the old rope into fibres.
It was one evening while cleaning out the buckets that Winnie leaned over and kissed Beth quickly on the lips.
“Oh, Winnie!” gasped Beth, totally unprepared and unsure how to react to such a move.
“I love you, Beth.” breathed Winnie, gazing into Beth’s eyes.
Beth felt her heart flutter as her breathing quickened and she impulsively reached out to hold Winnie’s face in both hands and kiss her on the lips, tasting the sweetness of youth.
“No!” Beth suddenly cried, pulling away and staring round. “It’s a sin in God’s eyes! It’s a mortal sin and we can get ourselves sent to the mental ward for doing that.”
Winnie stood up. Her eyes betrayed concern, though not fully understanding what she had done wrong. All she had done was to express the feelings she had for Beth.
“Don’t hate me, Beth!” she implored.
“Oh dear Winnie. I will never hate you. You are a sweetest friend and my heart loves you.”
With that Beth held out her arms and embraced Winnie before filling her face with kisses.
“We shall kiss every time we come down to clean the buckets if that pleases you.” said Beth.
That night in the dark the outstretched hands clasped each other tightly until both girls fell asleep. The bonding between the girls grew stronger by the day though Beth was continuously watchful when they hugged and kissed down in the slop-out room. No matter how her feelings soared higher at each embrace, the idea of being caught was a stronger concern. She knew from earlier comments from the prayer-readings that to have two girls kissing was considered abominable by the church, a holy sin which would fetch the rope to the neck or at least a duration’s stay in the mental ward. Winnie seemed oblivious to any conceivable punishment in her passion for Beth, having impulses which caused her to take chances. The other girls in the dormitory took little notice of their giggling together and even Annie May, the head girl, smiled at the sight of them seeming to play together and seeing them more as mother and daughter, with the mothering Beth much older in presentation.

 

For the next few weeks things were very happy for the two girls although Beth began to feel queasy in the mornings and was even sick into one of the buckets. Each day she felt more discomfort and found some of the food at mealtimes made her quite ill.
Things came to a head when a Madam, passing the slop-out room found Beth slumped over a bucket with Winnie leaning over her and rubbing hard at her back.
“What’s going on here?”
“I think she is quite ill, Madam.” replied Winnie, standing up.
“Stand up!” ordered the Madam.
Beth stood up and groggily held onto Winnie for support.
“Well don’t just stand there. If you are ill then take yourself to the infirmary straight away.”
Winnie began to help with her arm round Beth’s shoulder.
“No, not you! Finish your task and go back to your dormitory.”
Winnie left, taking some of the buckets up the stairs as Beth began to make her way across the yard towards the small infirmary.
“And I hope for your sake, you are not malingering!” shouted Madam, her voice following Beth across the yard.