Lights Out

Out of the darkness

A banshee does cry

Give me my life

Or ye shall die

 

Hair as black

As raven feathers

Illuminated

With an unearthly

Blue

The forest is quiet

Not a sound can be heard

Except this creatures

Demanding words

 

Give me my life

Or ye shall die

 

Breath caught in

Frozen lungs

Body trembling

Has begun

 

With steely ice blue

Eyes

She searches my soul

Contemplating my demise

 

Vaporous finger

Taps me on the nose

Neuropathy sets in

I am numb to my toes.

 

Vision is fading

World spinning

Way to fast

I fall to the ground

Hitting my head

With a crash

 

Lights out…

Reviews

[Hayley]

This has a Salem Witch Trial feel to it; I love it! Your use of "ye" is very effective with the descriptions of the raven feathers as well. I particularly liked: "Vaporous finger
Taps me on the nose
Neuropathy sets in
I am numb to my toes."

Descriptive word choice only adds to the quality! Nice work!

[roarke]

good thing for flashlights and bed covers eh?

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Almost seems metaphorical for those who ignore warning signs of disease and pay for it with their lives. Wonderfully written.

[WiLL i e]

Chilling and descriptive. Almost a narrative, which is great...I love those, this is certainly a journey you've created. Thanks for taking us along. Very well done all the way to the Lights....out. ;)

[FireFly]

Wow, the imagery of this was simply exquisite.

[Cassie Fraga]

love the way you paint your pieces!! crystal clear!! and the format style fits perfectly!! thank you for sharing such a brilliant write!!

[Aianarie (INACTIVE)]

Great idea putting the white text against the black background...it adds to the creepy atmosphere that the poem's imagery creates. Awesome job with this poem.

[Mary]

you can hear the polish in it.

[xSamilynnx]

wow this is really good definatly going into my favs :D xD

[*~*Butterfly Kisses*~*]

Beautifully penned, dark piece. Enjoyed this one.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Lights out indeed, it leads the reader as we go through it, a well written piece.