Lights Out

Out of the darkness

A banshee does cry

Give me my life

Or ye shall die

 

Hair as black

As raven feathers

Illuminated

With an unearthly

Blue

The forest is quiet

Not a sound can be heard

Except this creatures

Demanding words

 

Give me my life

Or ye shall die

 

Breath caught in

Frozen lungs

Body trembling

Has begun

 

With steely ice blue

Eyes

She searches my soul

Contemplating my demise

 

Vaporous finger

Taps me on the nose

Neuropathy sets in

I am numb to my toes.

 

Vision is fading

World spinning

Way to fast

I fall to the ground

Hitting my head

With a crash

 

Lights out…

Reviews

[Hayley]

This has a Salem Witch Trial feel to it; I love it! Your use of "ye" is very effective with the descriptions of the raven feathers as well. I particularly liked: "Vaporous finger
Taps me on the nose
Neuropathy sets in
I am numb to my toes."

Descriptive word choice only adds to the quality! Nice work!

[Jeremy Baker]

I agree with Hayley. The meaning is not immediately apparent; I had to work at it to unpack it, but it was well worth the effort. Thanks for sharing!

[Perfect Mistake]

Awesome imagery and very descriptive. I also liked how you formatted the poem. Also its dark, i like that. Good work.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Excellent, felt like a movie playing before me!

[KAREN]

Dark, well crafted! Great imagery!

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Sensational descriptions set an eerie scene - Vaporous finger taps me on the nose-
Vision is fading- Lights out.. I really enjoyed this poem.

Chloe

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

OMG. You gave me goosebumps. This was truly a beautiful artistic nightmare.
Great work from a Master of imagery.

[closed..acct]

My goodness you are a very prolific writer.
I could really grasp onto what you were writing.
This is amazing...such depth and quite interesting.
Enjoyable read...

You have such a precious quill, inked all darkness and transferring the perfect choking feeling from out of your penned occultism. I am in awe, less oxygen, and brain allert on all the white letters which rule here. Sublime!

[Tina Kline]

A very frightening and chilling tale. I really love the imagery you use. This is really good horror reading!!