Tarpeia Styled Heart

A mysterious lone man sat drinking

From a vat of burgundy red wine

With lustful eyes shadowed in the dark

 

As a beguiling your woman enters

The tavern with betrayal in her heart

Forever to tarnish her namesake

 

War was on the Roman horizon

As an abstruse deal was certified

Forever sealing a Tarpeia style fate

 

Greed, a contradiction to her beauty

An appetite for silver set the deal

As her waffle-stompers sauntered away

 

 

Author's Note

Tarpeia is a maiden who tried to betray Rome only to be chased over a cliff by the opposing army

waffle-stompers are short ankle style boots

Reviews

[TJ]

I too read this as a woman seeking revenge for a broken heart. And as the saying goes before seeking out revenge you should dig your own grave. Liked the historical reference and the images you used.
And first line of second stanza I believe should be "young woman" not "your woman"

[Mauricio Montoya]

I admire your ability to write different topics.
Excellent write.

[Liza]

Title,superb
concept, excellent
the opening line; I would tweak a bit because the piece is so strong
i want to know what made this lone man mysterious - perhaps add description without telling me he's mysterious....i love your style and this piece - and usually i don't like to leave a note of "how to change" but just wanted you to reflect on how the first line can come off stronger as i know you are a strong writer..

[G. Marie"floating on an..]

Nicely done and all the words compliment each other. you did a great job with the use of words here and telling a little of history at the same time. Very good poem short and sweet

[Linear]

A beautiful maiden with a hatred for Rome she slipped the sabines to their folly lost their grip. Enjoyed :0)

[Alexander Emberson]

Red wine is delicious.

[Tina Kline]

Nicely told. I enjoyed the tale within the poem.

[Jeremy Baker]

Good use of the words... gee they were tough this time! Very picturesque!

[Larry Dyson]

with waffle looking soles...like tire treads...excellent use of the suggested words...they are giving me a fit as well..making them work together...I'm working on it...

[The Analog Kid]

Interesting how things can spin out of control. I like the narrative style you used!