Cracked Heart

I challenge group write from the picture

Weariness begins to painfully show
As sorrowful moan escape cracked lips
While reality gradually slides and slips

Mind broken with memories of fear
As onyx nights become dreadful and real
Happiness no longer allowed to feel

A world distant with frozen lies
Beauty hides behind scratches and sores
Black depression seeps into minute pores

The sands of time no longer apply
Eternity cold with wound unhealed
Heart twisted fate's been sealed

Vaporous image moves down the hall
Disappearing into a darkened room
Crying for her lover, heart's filled with gloom

Reviews

[Jibey]

This is chilling writing... 'onyx nights', 'frozen lies', 'eternity cold' and the words are gripped in bleak images of sores and cracked hardness... Sad but intensely powerful. You created a gith and well managed structure for the writing, with effective use of rhyme. This kind needs a lot of love!

[Ruth]

All that is darkness and utter chaos, is written here! This holds such depth, powerful and befits the title extremely well! xx

[Tate Morgan]

I am a fan of the rhyme here

[piggy]

this is really great.

nice writing

[White Ink]

Wow!! I'm in love with this piece!
nicely written..

i love this stanza..

"The sands of time no longer apply
Eternity cold with wound unhealed
Heart twisted fate's been sealed"

well done! :)

[Ice QueenJen]

what a deep and interesting writing, I like it!

[Seshat Nidaba]

This was a dense and chilling read, good stuff.

[.]

solid rhythm and rhyme..bold and strong images that match the picture well

[Tommy]

And challenge met! Wow the imagery is strong in this, broken heart, cracked lips waiting for a kiss, but it was destruction who quenched those chops…

Great Write!
RLG,
Tommy

[Tina Kline]

A haunting and tragic tale of someone who couldn't cross over. A really chilling ghost tale in a poem.

[Poeticadia]

I can feel everything slipping into the darkness in this fluid and melancholy poem.