Infected Grapevine

not about grapes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It springs to life climbing and reaching

Toward the illuminating sun

As healthy new growth has begun

 

Emerald green leaves open wide

Spanning across the brown of the vine

A sea of leafy green so divine

 

Violet balls begin to take form

Taking on their spherical shape

Majestic bunches blossoms create

 

As words are twisted and turned

The leaves shrink changing to red

As gossip is continuously fed

 

They shrivel crumpling falling apart

Rotten sour fruit plummets to the ground

With each evil vile breathy sound

 

Infected rumors continue to spread

Till the whole vine is gnarled, broken

Repercussions of gossip spoken

Reviews

[ORBLE]

love the metaphorical use of the leaves changing throughout the season and the red ones representing the rumours being spread. Very thought provoking, makes you want to really think before you speak out and take a step back before you start making assumptions. I also love the description of the vine being gnarled and broken, really nice use of imagery to set the scene. Ella

[Robin]

the smaller vineyards seem to be affected the most by this infection ...

[Jenny Nelson]

Great progression to make a strong point. So true. Great metaphor. So many guilty of something that has done so much damage. A very strong and vibrant piece.

[Denise]

What a fantastic metaphor! perfectly matched descriptions from beginning to end of rumors spread through the grape vine

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Very nice- love the metaphoric use you have used. Creative and so true about gossip, something I abhor. Wonderful images and colors used.

Chloe

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Love how you used the grapevine as how gossip grows to something out of control!

[Esoteric Strand]

There is an overwhelming amount of redundancy throughout this piece. Examples would include:

‘Illuminating sun’
‘Emerald green’
‘balls…spherical’
‘evil vile’

Maybe I’m just a diction nazi, but I feel as poets, we have the whole of the English language to draw from and using a word like ‘balls’ seems amazingly uninspired. Now I’m not saying put something goofy like spheroid in its place…but there has to be a poetic way to express the same thing.

Fortunately, this is easy to fix, if you want to. It just seems like a speed-write that could use a little polish.

Regards,

E

[Coyote Poetry]

Bad statements can expand to many people and do great harm. I like how you use the vine to make your point. I tell people. Nothing good to say. Better to stay silence. A strong ending to a outstanding poem.
"Infected rumors continue to spread
Till the whole vine is gnarled, broken
Repercussions of gossip spoken"
Thank you.
Coyote

[Tommy]

What a tale of how gossip grows, and is loved till it comes back to your ears all over wrought with embellishment, while it tunes against you. I think the grape vine is a great metaphor for this destructive tone. I wonder what the wine lovers would think?

Great Write!
RLG,
Tommy

[Jibey]

Well.. this begins with a scene of delight but then the infection sets in and we are left with pleasure sullied and soured by malicious gossip.... A fine use of the imagery of the vine to show how destructive a vicious tongue can be...