Comfort of a Tomb

Inky black hair blows upon

A dreary charcoal night

As lightening bugs take flight

 

The wind wisps through the trees

She kneels beside the grave

His touch forever she will crave

 

A coffin lay quiet

In the mournful cold dark

A heart with a scarring mark

 

Bleeding in tearful pain

Now shrewd she will remain

Love a vacant domain

 

Skeptical thoughts flood her mind

No peace will come this time

Giving her soul, her crime

 

Ambrosial nights long gone

Comfort lost in this tomb

Shadows surround with gloom

Reviews

[The Analog Kid]

Kind of a nebulous plot here to this. Leave it to the reader..kudos. The only line I struggled with was: "A coffin lays quiet." First, I think it must be "quietly." Also, check on the correct usage of "lay." I am not sure, but that one always troubles me. I always have to look it up:)

[Arabdha]

your poem evokes a strange melancholy..and you can almost feel the pain that she is feeling..alone near the tomb in the dreary night..powerful writing..!! a 96 from me..

[Linear]

Nice flow to this dark piece, but you leave the reader guessing to exactly what surrounds the story line. but I like that we can let our own imaginations run, gets yhe reader involved, always a good thing