Shadowed Wings of Night

The harbinger rides a pale horse

Upon the shadowed wings of night

Without the emotion of remorse

     

Flames shoot across a violet sky

Lighting up the onyx horizon

Listen you’ll hear his battle cry

 

 

Enthralled with cipher’s unique sound

Body paralyzed unable to move

To the desolate earth you are bound

 

Destruction leaves a barren land

Fireballs incinerate all the earth

Depleted of all but dust and sand

 

Hypnotized by the surreal sight

Confusion settles deep in the mind

Irrational thoughts start to take flight

 

Lock deep within this horrible dream

Franticly the brain tries to wake

Vocal cords sound an audible scream

 

Nightmare fades exceedingly fast

Its secrecy held within the mind

Lingering images do not last

 

Reviews

[Twilight]

This is very good, with some great wording, and a true poetic structure. The writer has chosen to use three lines per verse, and a rhyme pattern which is flawless. The final line reads a little like a warning, "Lingering images do not last"? I also quite liked the mystical tone of this piece. Thankyou, Kristina!

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Lock deep within this horrible dream
franticly the brain tries to wake
Vocal cords sound an audible scream

Nightmare fades exceedingly fast
Its secrecy held within the mind
Lingering images do not last

The whole poem was written very well, the last two stanzas is my favorite!

[Bette]

wonderful and dark! Love it

[Jenny Nelson]

Great flow, held my attention throughout every line. Very eerie, ethereal feel. Excellent.

[Linear]

Great format, good use of words, and it flowed off your pen wonderfully. I liked it very much

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Hypnotized by the surreal sight
Confusion settles deep in the mind
Irrational thoughts start to take flight

our mind can become our own worst enemy when we over analyze things or think to much... I really like the dark emotions expressed and the metaphoric descriptions.

[Ladysue]

wow..great images...chilling...you penned this well....

[Esoteric Strand]

Overall, it’s an interesting poem with thoughtful, natural rhyming. One of the issues I have is with the method of description.

Now, forgive me if this poem was the product of a challenge, but I’m hearing a lot of the same thing: violet sky/ onyx horizon/ unique sound/ desolate earth/ barren land/ surreal sight/ horrible dream.

I know art and logic don’t necessarily go hand-in-hand, but there were a couple of spots I felt were contradictory or just plain odd. In the 3rd stanza you mention we are bound to the desolate earth, then in the next stanza there is ‘Destruction leaves a barren land.’ Wasn’t it already desolate? Then fireballs start bombarding the desolate, barren, already destroyed earth? I just didn’t follow that train of thought.

Then the last line. Kind of like how desolate and barren are synonyms, I find lingering and lasting pretty much the same. Do you mean lingering is somehow more ephemeral than lasting maybe? ‘Lingering images do not last’ means, to me = ‘something lasting does not last.’ Maybe I’m using the wrong part of my brain. Haha

Regards,

E

[Dream Weaver]

Love the doom and gloom scenario...
Chilling images throughout...
Nicely done Kristina...

[RAWr]

"Lingering images do not last" The images inspired by your poem sure do. Well done.

[Coyote Poetry]

A poem with strong words and powerful statements. I like the visions you have create with your words. A nightmare that told a story of destruction and at the end a barren land. This would be a nightmare. A excellent poem.
Coyote