A Heart's Liberation

The first poem Bette and I have collaborated on. Each one did a stanza.

With spunk in my purposeful step
I glide down an unknown hallway
Feeling unattached to the past
Inner peace consuming life at last

It seems years since I’ve seen his face
Tasted his smile, inhaled his scent
Back is straight, with a strained plastic grin
Is time for a truce, all games will end

It is time to slam that door shut

Close it with an impenetrable seal  
That won’t be reopened or broken
A love there but never to be spoken

Sowing the oats double at the seams
Not even allowed to roam in my dreams
Covered in cobwebs that crack in my mind
Once my prison, he’s forced there to hide

A liberation of the soul and mind
In the unpredictable twist of fate
You have given me a sweet release in life
No more heart embedded with a knife  

These chains are off, they’ve hit the floor
No more feelings binding me to your love
Just you behind it, on the other side
This time you’ll miss me, your turn to cry.


Praying you feel how I did for so long
Hoping you are encompassed with loss
Wondering if the love is still there
Wishing that dreams we will still share

She sees you standing, with your pants down
Sultry and growling, My name on your lips
Hot flesh, calloused hands, stroking, surrender
Its what you do when you remember

No more playing your desirous games
 You feeling frisky? call your fiancé
For these boundaries are set in stone  
You’re now attached and no longer alone

Bring it to the table, have a cup of truth
Its your game we are playing here
I already know the rules, you soon will see
That she can’t, she won’t, she'll never be me  
 
Deep within slumber my face will reappear
You’ll wish my heart and body you could touch
And during a moment of heated passion
My name you’ll scream, I’d like to see her reaction

To see her eyes as her world crashes down
The curl of her lip, the angry smack to your face

 It will be deserved, don’t utter a sound
Don’t look for me, my hearts no longer bound.  

Love will forever encase this tender heart
Yet I can’t give it completely to you
You changed the way the relationship went
Gone is the bond and soulful sentiment

Reviews

[Poeticadia]

A strong and expressive poem... the "liberation of the soul and mind" fighting back! I love the image these lines convey...

And during a moment of heated passion
My name you’ll scream, I’d like to see her reaction

Really enjoyed reading this. A great story and poem in one.

[Bette]

no sir she started then me and we continued that way.

[Bette]

wow i was prepared to cry.lol

[Crowley]

Seamless, but that font with that olor is a b***h for my over forty eyes to read...lol. You will also have to read what I left on Bettes, cuz this is a hell of tell off poem, I absolutely love it. I am guessing she started it off and you piped in in the second stanza? Is that right?

[The Perfectionist]

Heehee, oh I am quite amused. It's rare to see that sharp, yet subtle edge pulled off so gracefully, but you two do a great job of it here. The emotion is present, but not overbearing, which is exactly the way it should be.

Word choices could be better; at points it feels like you were just fixing for a rhyme, and you suffered for it.
Case in point:
"You have given me a sweet release in life
No more heart embedded with a knife "

Having said that, there are also moments of utter brilliance (the fourth-to-last stanza being the most obvious), and you two complement each other very well. I'd like to see this done again.

EDIT: BUT THE RED WAS PRETTY!

[InkSlinger]

Nice work, both compliment each other well. Sleek, smooth, and full of sass!!

[EnternalNight]

nice work!

[Robin]

nice work from you two , well done

[Bette]

:)

[Jenny Nelson]

You two blended your stanzas really well and this flowed wonderfully and was quite strong and empowering.