Liquid Distress

wrote for creative poetry group using these words Dejection, anguish, obscured, weary, mournful

The heart grows impatient of the wait

Mournful teardrops begin to fall

Is this destiny part of life’s fate

Tattooed forever is one name

Red ink permanently etched

Engulfed by love’s eternal flame

Dejection felt deep in the bone

An ache rooted with sorrowful pain

Helplessly left completely alone

Happiness obscured and scattered

A darkness encompassing the brain

A love left shredded and shattered

Anguish flows through crumpled veins

Liquid distress slides down cheeks

Only a shallow emptiness remains

Reviews

[Mauricio Montoya]

Wow! For me this piece hit home, I mean I had to read it again, in a lot of ways it describes how I feel. It’s funny how we write something for one reason but it reaches someone differently and I think that what may have happened here. There’s been this girl I’ve been trying to win her heart and yesterday she shot me down a second time. Maybe I’ll try for a third.
Great job, well done.

[Ice QueenJen]

great writing!

sorry its taken so long to read...

[JRB]

nice thoughts and feeling made real nice write

[MuSe Ampoule]

sad emotions hinged on impatient unrequited love. beautiful.

[HorrorMaster]

very nice i like it.

[Ruth]

Amazing!
The use of wording is sublime here hon, I find it amazing how set words set the tone for writing lol
Excellent!
xx

[Tina Kline]

The awful pain of a broken heart, at least it sounds like that to me. Very dramatic and vivid. Excellent work!

[Coyote Poetry]

Very good use of the words. I like poetry that make us dig into our mind and think. I like the feel and emotion in this poem. When the tear flow and then they stop. Next stage can be healing or being pissed off. I like the language you used in this poem. Took me a good journey. A excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[Ladysue]

the title is really good and the rest of the piece is strong...good work...oh great ending...