November Lane

The moon is full, shining with all its glory
the stars twinkle on the clear November night
A truly beautiful magical sight

The chilled air reddens my bare cheeks
the slight breeze blowing dishevels stands of hair
And I ponder do you really still care

Unknowing gives me, a glimmer of hope
Keeping the heart still intact, almost whole
Except for the half of it you quietly stole

Or maybe it was forever given away
Doesn't really matter on the how or why
Just that this blazing love, I can't deny

Wind blowing, shaking reality into view
Fingers cold from the freezing night air
Memory lane vanished, but still I care

Reviews

[O Bubbly_snowflake *]

It really does touch you so much.
Its so subtle and calm, it moves you with every word. You're word choice is really nice, and the structure is really good too.

But if i have to be nit-picky; i'd say having so many commas ruins the flow. Like you have this beautiful rhyme going on in the last two lines of the stanza and having a comma in there, personally, ruins it. This is just my opinion, but consider it. It isn't the point where you want your reader to pause

But that doesn't stop this from being a great read : )

Ahhh beautiful ... just one suggestion for the following paragraph :
..
The chilled air reddens my fleshy cheeks
the slight breeze blowing dishevels stands of hair
And I ponder do you really still care
..

do not use the word fleshy , it sounds too base here , I would prefer :

The chilled air reddens my bare cheeks
the slight breeze blowing dishevels strands of hair
And I ponder do you really still care

[Arabdha]

superb..going in to my favorites..you transport the reader into the moonlit November night and all is peaceful when

"Unknowing gives me, a glimmer of hope
Keeping the heart still intact, almost whole
Except for the half of it you quietly stole

Or maybe it was forever given away
Doesn't really matter on the how or why
Just that this blazing love, I can't deny"

throws one into such a torrent of emotions..but my favorite part is the last line..
"Memory lane vanished, but still I care "..a 100/100 from me :)

[emmajoy]

Silky smooth and beautiful phrases, loving but such a sad finish.

You shade your poems wonderfully well, paint in small facts, give hints of things unseen, ' Doesn't really matter on the how or why'.

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful description of fall day. The cold air bringing the winter into another season of our life. I like the way you described the poem. A very good ending to a outstanding poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[closed]

Nice. You've clearly immortalized a memory here, and so do you carry us along on a lover's whim, through the breeze of a November night that is since past.
I'm impressed.^

-Dream

[Linear]

Gosh that was/is beautiful, so much passion in your words, so much love you near made this old man cry.

Loved every line, verse and stanza

[Im His Daughter]

kind of numbing... like November air. Good poem!

[Another Relic]

Great writing. I can see the image of one lost in thought with those around her wandering what she's thinking of. Your words fill us in on the secret. 100 from me.

[better off]

This is really wonderful and beautiful. Such a lovely write. I like this remarkable write.