Lonely Vixen

written for Picture this group

Ebony hair flowing down her back
Saucy hips swaying to the beat
Moving with rhythm tapping her feet

Perky breast slightly exposed
Men gaze with drooling need and hearts
Pushing them away before, it starts

Vixen beauty who doesn't want company
Dressed all in sleek sexy black
While she slightly arches her back

Lonely wishing to have her love again
Craving only his hungry gaze
Mind in a needful, sorrowful haze

Pushing away all futile attempts
No other man, her attention, gets
Why must her fragile heart give her fits    

Reviews

[The Warrior Poet]

OK fine - let her dance alone then - I was hoping she'd say no - I, uh, don't like to dance anyway. I can handle rejection. DT. That's all I have to say.

On a serious note - as others have said specifically about this poem and the gets/fits bend, I give you a word of advice (at the risk of being a hypocrite (forgive me)): The rhythm and rhyme in your poems should be like the paint on the wall. When people notice it, it's usually a bad thing, unless it is an absolutely amazing and stunning thing. It's the pictures and paintings hanging on the wall you want people to notice.

[emmajoy]

A fragile heart indeed, apparently with a somewhat exposed outer shell. You've written with feeling, showed empathy, maybe understanding how easily the needy exterior can be misinterpreted by viewers.

[Wondering Mind]

The art inspired more art. Nicely done, you brought her to life.

[InkSlinger]

Delightful piece.. lonely and lovely she sits, waiting on the man who gives her fits..

[Ice QueenJen]

I loved this, and I feel I am in a battle just like this. :)

[Mauricio Montoya]

tell her to call me. lol great job well done.

[Shante Payne]

I love the story behind this...there are plenty of beautiful women that men lust after and everyone assumes that because of the way she looks or the way she is dressed that she enjoys that attention. However we don't think about what she's really feeling...thanks for given an inside look.

[Michael of Gilead]

I know her, I seem to meet her all the time...ugh

Excellent write

[Robin]

you brought an image to life, gave her a personality, a story . well done .

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Wow how can a poem be so sultry and yet so melancholy at the same time cause you achieved both.