Hellcat on the Prowl

There's a hellcat on the prowl tonight
She's pissed off and lookin' to fight
Hell bent with fury on the rise
Hearing the scream, her only prize

A fiery anger dwelling deep within
Consuming the mind, the spreading begins
Fourteen day till the fur flies
Then out will come all the lies

Fueling fire flowing within pumping veins
Scorching flames combust reaching the brain
Betrayal feeding the rampage
Soon he shall feel the hellcat's rage

As the second hand ticks sluggishly slow
Mounting frustration and fury does grow
Razor sharp claws are protruding
Soon there will be no deluding

She should have left the hellcat alone
Now the claws are gonna cut to the bone
Lines are drawn, battle's begun
Now there's a war to be won.

Reviews

[SpokenWord]

I hate to be the guy she is at war with. In any relationship lies can cause this kind of fury. They say the truth will set you free and lies you bury you dead. Poetry is art but also it is technical maybe that is why I prefer story telling over poetry. In this one I can see the anger but I can't feel it, it is being held back maybe? I think you did great with the rhyming part and keeping it in a poetic format. After experiencing the anger of woman, I can imagine how if expressed in this poem it would be explosive.

I enjoyed this poem and noticed the words all painted in red, still I wouldn't want to be that guy when the claws come out.

[Ice QueenJen]

Wow it makes me sad that I didn't read this after you wrote this powerful piece. I loved how gritty you made this creature feel, and so realistic.

[Poetic Beauty]

This creature is based off of me, when I was pissed off at lies being told.

[Marie Harrison]

Very scared of this fiery kitty!
Determined to shred one to bits.
Delightful read PB

[Mauricio Montoya]

it may need some fine tuning,in the second stanza (Fourteen days) otherwise I think its great. nice work.

[kewlbluetiger]

Wow that was ferrrrocious! Loved it. It actually reminded me of someone I know that's always looking for a fight! Let the fur fly! She would agree. Fiery work!

[MissWordSmith]

I loved the idea of this. But, I felt that the flow was slippy, and at times you made up lines so that it would merely rhyme. also, the use of the word "soon" seemed to make it less frightening... soon slowed down the adrenaline rush this poem was supposed to deliver.

This is my favorite..

"Fueling fire flowing within pumping veins
Scorching flames combust reaching the brain
Betrayal feeding the rampage
Soon he shall feel the hellcat's rage"

But, with a few revisions I think it might sound nicer. Anyhow, this is just my opinion.

Fueling fire within pumping veins
Flames that scorch, a hellcat's pain
Betrayal burns, feeds rampage
Now he shall feel the hellcat's rage..

or something like that.. there are too many continuous verbs.. ''dwelling'' ''consuming'' pumping, reaching, feeding, etc, etc..

My point IS, that this is a poem about RAGE, try to make it more .. choppy, building up ... the ''ings'' make it very slow.. and that contradicts the very idea of it..

:)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Now that ROAR was deafening... I must say you really vented with creative flare... kittens got claws and they are really sharp.

[Eagle Cruagh]

So realistic I had to duck and weave
as I read to keep from being consumed by
this furry Hellcat with a fury.
Great poem, wild fight .
----- Eagle Cruagh

[Fran Marie]

Wozzers!! s this is one hellcat out for the kill....I llike this one a lot!

[Sean M. Addams]

i LIKE THIS ALOT AND THE IMAGERY AND RED FONT ADD ALOT TO THIS INTENSE WRITE NICE JOB!!!