The Day My World Changed

This is a true account of what I went through in June of 2009. There is strong language for it is a real account. I kept nothing out and didn't sugar coat the situation.

It started out like any other normal day for me. Little did I know this would be the day that would change my world and views, forever. I got up at 6 am to get ready for work.  I peeked in on my son and gave him a kiss before I shut his door quietly.  I didn’t want to wake him or my boyfriend at the time Jason.  I slowly walked my way to the kitchen and made a pot of coffee.  Then logged into bookarmy.com and browsed the site before going to get my first cup.

            I had my first cup of coffee and returned to the bedroom to get dressed for the day.  I turned on the light in the walk in closet and shut the door so that I wouldn’t wake Jason up.  The morning hours in the summer are so peaceful for everyone sleeps in but me.

            I finished my morning routine and headed off to work at 8 am.  The day there was another normal day at It’s a Dog’s World for me.  I had a full days worth of dogs to get bathed and dried so that the groomers could work their magic on making the pooches look glamorous for their owners.  It is harder to cut hair on dog than what you would think.  They don’t always cooperate or standstill but I must say I love the job and working with dogs all day.  After completing nine and half hours I was tired and headed for home which is only a five minute drive.

            When I walked through the door, my son was in his room playing with his cars.  Jason was on the couch play video games.  He started complaining almost immediately.  I didn’t know had him so irritated so I ignored the grouchy mood and took my shower. 

            When I came back into the living room, he was complaining about being hungry, and wanted to know what our plans were for dinner. “Wow,” I thought in my mind what is wrong with him today. I answered his question and started to boil the ribs for dinner.  I always boil my ribs for at least an hour so that they are nice and tender when you bake them, so I headed into the living room and grabbed a book to read while I was waiting.  I remember asking Jason to turn down the video game and he made a foul remark so I went into the bedroom to read where he started complaining about me reading in there where I had to have the light on instead of in the living room.

            In my mind, I am still trying to figure out what his issue is today, but it isn’t worth fighting with him over little stuff.  I told him the tv was too loud and I couldn’t read in there.  He was quiet once again except for the loud game on the tv.  When it was time for me to put the ribs in the oven, I sat my book on the bed and went to finish the chore.  When I was passing by him he told me he had a bad day at college.  Well that explained the foul mood I thought.  We talk for a few moments about it and then I went back to read until the ribs were done, baking.

            The moment I entered that kitchen to finish dinner I knew, that the day was going to deteriorate.  I was making my son plate and mine.  I called Cal to come eat and told Jason that dinner was done.  Cal sat down to eat and so did I. 

            Jason comes in and says, “Where the hell am I going to sit?”

            I replied, “You can move your bike from back behind the table or you can sit in the living room like you usually do.”

            “Damn, right I will sit where ever I want to in my own place.” He replied with a nasty look on his face. “If you weren’t such a b***h about the bike the other day we all could have sat in here together”

            “Look, I don’t know what your problem is but you need to get your anger under control.”  I yelled back at him.  In my mind, “I am thinking what is wrong with him.  He doesn’t usually get like this.”

            At that moment he snapped.  He walked over to the table and, between my son and me; he smashed the glass plate down.  It broke into some tiny and some large pieces of white glass.  He is yelling and screaming obscenities at me.  I jumped out of the chair when he smashed the plate.  Somehow, my son got knocked out of his chair, and everything happened so fast I’m not sure how it transpired.  I screamed at him, “Don’t ever come near my son again.  You leave him alone he is my son!”

            Jason screamed at the top of his lungs with his face turning red, “I will do whatever the hell I want to do.”  I then picked up a piece of glass and threw it at the wall yelling, “No you won’t.  He is my son.”

            “What what are you going to do?  Are going to hit me? Go ahead and hit me I will call the cops.  Go ahead and hit me,” He screamed with a detached look in his eye and almost nose to nose with me pointing.

            “Jason, get out of my face.  Leave me alone.  Go away.  I don’t know what your problem is but you need to get it under control.”  I yelled and demanded.

 The next thing I knew he grabbed my arms and threw me into our iguana’s cage, that is 8 foot by 7 foot long, made of plexi glass and wood.  I blanked out for a brief period.  When my senses were back, I was trying to get him out of the kitchen away from my son.  I remembered him grabbing a piece of glass right before my mind went black. I headed into the living room while he followed.  He was yelling and cursing the whole time.  I made a quick call to my mom telling her I was coming home then hung up.  I started down the hallway to the bedroom to grab some of our stuff to take with me and Jason threw a piece of glass at my head.  Lucky for me he missed.  He was yelling about how awful I was and what a terrible person I was and that we were through. 

            I looked him in the eyes, “No, kidding were through.  I wouldn’t stay with you if you were the last man on earth.”  I picked up the phone to call my mom and let her know we were on our way.  My son at this point is in his bedroom with the door shut.  Jason ripped the phone out of my hands and threw it into the hallway. 

He then went into the living room and tossed my purse outside yelling, “get the f**k out right now.”  Then slammed the door so hard, that my clock, fell off the wall and broke.

             I got my son and waited for Jason to move from in front of the door.  I was terrified; he would push, me or my son down the flight of stairs.  When he went into the kitchen, we left.  He came outside acting like a wild man calling me some of the worst names in the book.  I went to my neighbors, called my mom, and then left to get away from him.

            In that moment when I calmed down, I noticed little things that I hadn’t before.  There was a cut on my hand, and blood on my shirt.  I didn’t take the time to look thoroughly I just want my son and me to be safe.  After going to my mom’s we went to the police station, where my son and I, both had to file police reports and pictures had to be taken.  I had a huge cut on my thumb, a cut with a bruise on my chest, two complete hand print bruises on my arms, a scratch on my neck and bruises on the back of both of my shoulders.  By the grace of God, my son didn’t have scratch or bruise on him, and I know in my heart that God is the one who allowed me to walk out of that apartment that day.

            My family gathered around me and after Jason was arrested, we packed all my stuff and moved out in the middle of the night.  We didn’t get finished till get finished until after 3 am.  When I got to my mom’s and took a shower, I noticed I had bruises on my thighs, under my butt, and a scratch on my neck.  I found out that the scratch on my neck was from him holding a piece of the broken glass to my throat and he threatened to kill me.  The scratch and bruise on my chest was from him hitting me with a piece of glass there.  He had thrown it so hard that it not only cut me but bruised the skin as well.  The bruises on the backside of my body were from, being thrown into the lizard’s cage.  He had thrown me so hard he actually bent the hinges inward so that the cage couldn’t be opened.  The door was stuck.

            The legal process was a long one between the order of protection, and the court hearing.  I had always thought that I was a strong person and that being abuse was something I would never allow to happen.  Guess what?  It did happen but not because I let it happen.  It happened to me and I didn’t have any control over the situation.  If it wasn’t for my family bonding together to help me and a wonderful friend named Jesse, encouraging me through the court issues, I would have been lost.  When something as traumatic, as abuse happens to you; it is the support of wonderful friends and a close family that gets you through it.

Reviews

[The Perfectionist]

Come on now, Kristina. Basic grammatical errors? You're better than that. Proofread the first paragraph. Actually, check that. Proofread this whole thing. It's rife with basic mistakes that you should catch very easily upon rereading.

I imagine this was very difficult for you to write. It is just written well below the standard I expect from you, and almost disjointedly in pieces at times. It feels almost like you're trying to recount the event rather than write about it (and yes, there is a difference). While the honesty is appreciated, from a literary standpoint it could be much improved.

Having said that, I don't imagine you'll be going back and rewriting the thing, so congratulations for managing to put it out there, at least.

[Bette]

well done k, i know this well. have been there myself....and no honey you didn't let this happen you cant live thinking of what might happen you have to take chances. and up till this point it had not happend. what you did was end it and keep it from happening again. you took control. that was the only thing you could do. well done.

[Mauricio Montoya]

Kristina it takes a lot of courage to write something like this, thank you for sharing.
Excellent write

[Bruce58]

Ouch. This story sounds to real and dramatic for you to be making it up. I hope everything is OK now with you and your son. The way you've described this situation you shouldn't go back, even if he tries to talk you into it. Bad times will come and you hang in there, be strong

[Shellie]

A*****e. I hope he got what he deserved. You are right though....you didnt have control even though you didnt allow it to happen. Sounds like an awful night, and its good to see something real on here even though its quite horrible to hear. Good luck to you!!!

[Coyote Poetry]

A very intense story. I'm glad you escape. Many woman get cornered and have no way out. You are right. Woman must stay together in bad times. In the end our family will assist us and keep us safe. A very sad story. It is a mystery of how people change. Woman are our mother's to our children. I will never understand how someone would hurt the person they support to love? A powerful story.
Coyote

[r]

Wow. I can't believe this just....wow. At least you and your son got away. I know sometimes they don't... I really like the way you wrote this and yeah.... Great job getting it down.

[Ice QueenJen]

At first I thought how could she know what I went through- but I was never physically abused, only mentally. Which they say is far worse, and gave me a great distrust in men for years. Your story was great and you showed that even the slightest thing could set these animals off, thankfully you and your son weren't hurt in a serious way. Thank you for sharing your story and yes family and friends are a great comfort and support.

[Cheryl J. Turner]

Many of us have been here. I hope it helped you to write this down.
What strength you have.

[Robin]

this story is unfortunately too common , and even more uncommon is that you left , as many feel trapped with nowhere to go ~ I had a GF who worked Protective Services and every night was a horror after horror story ~ your life changed ~ for the better ~ good luck to you and your son

[just rose.]

Wow. This is intense and hard to respond to without crying. The shift from past to present indicates how visceral and real these events are for the narrator, and the reader is brought into that immediacy by the "reportage" style of the piece. Writing something this raw took courage, and it could be the start of a much longer piece or even a novel. Nice work.