The Day My World Changed

This is a true account of what I went through in June of 2009. There is strong language for it is a real account. I kept nothing out and didn't sugar coat the situation.

It started out like any other normal day for me. Little did I know this would be the day that would change my world and views, forever. I got up at 6 am to get ready for work.  I peeked in on my son and gave him a kiss before I shut his door quietly.  I didn’t want to wake him or my boyfriend at the time Jason.  I slowly walked my way to the kitchen and made a pot of coffee.  Then logged into bookarmy.com and browsed the site before going to get my first cup.

            I had my first cup of coffee and returned to the bedroom to get dressed for the day.  I turned on the light in the walk in closet and shut the door so that I wouldn’t wake Jason up.  The morning hours in the summer are so peaceful for everyone sleeps in but me.

            I finished my morning routine and headed off to work at 8 am.  The day there was another normal day at It’s a Dog’s World for me.  I had a full days worth of dogs to get bathed and dried so that the groomers could work their magic on making the pooches look glamorous for their owners.  It is harder to cut hair on dog than what you would think.  They don’t always cooperate or standstill but I must say I love the job and working with dogs all day.  After completing nine and half hours I was tired and headed for home which is only a five minute drive.

            When I walked through the door, my son was in his room playing with his cars.  Jason was on the couch play video games.  He started complaining almost immediately.  I didn’t know had him so irritated so I ignored the grouchy mood and took my shower. 

            When I came back into the living room, he was complaining about being hungry, and wanted to know what our plans were for dinner. “Wow,” I thought in my mind what is wrong with him today. I answered his question and started to boil the ribs for dinner.  I always boil my ribs for at least an hour so that they are nice and tender when you bake them, so I headed into the living room and grabbed a book to read while I was waiting.  I remember asking Jason to turn down the video game and he made a foul remark so I went into the bedroom to read where he started complaining about me reading in there where I had to have the light on instead of in the living room.

            In my mind, I am still trying to figure out what his issue is today, but it isn’t worth fighting with him over little stuff.  I told him the tv was too loud and I couldn’t read in there.  He was quiet once again except for the loud game on the tv.  When it was time for me to put the ribs in the oven, I sat my book on the bed and went to finish the chore.  When I was passing by him he told me he had a bad day at college.  Well that explained the foul mood I thought.  We talk for a few moments about it and then I went back to read until the ribs were done, baking.

            The moment I entered that kitchen to finish dinner I knew, that the day was going to deteriorate.  I was making my son plate and mine.  I called Cal to come eat and told Jason that dinner was done.  Cal sat down to eat and so did I. 

            Jason comes in and says, “Where the hell am I going to sit?”

            I replied, “You can move your bike from back behind the table or you can sit in the living room like you usually do.”

            “Damn, right I will sit where ever I want to in my own place.” He replied with a nasty look on his face. “If you weren’t such a b***h about the bike the other day we all could have sat in here together”

            “Look, I don’t know what your problem is but you need to get your anger under control.”  I yelled back at him.  In my mind, “I am thinking what is wrong with him.  He doesn’t usually get like this.”

            At that moment he snapped.  He walked over to the table and, between my son and me; he smashed the glass plate down.  It broke into some tiny and some large pieces of white glass.  He is yelling and screaming obscenities at me.  I jumped out of the chair when he smashed the plate.  Somehow, my son got knocked out of his chair, and everything happened so fast I’m not sure how it transpired.  I screamed at him, “Don’t ever come near my son again.  You leave him alone he is my son!”

            Jason screamed at the top of his lungs with his face turning red, “I will do whatever the hell I want to do.”  I then picked up a piece of glass and threw it at the wall yelling, “No you won’t.  He is my son.”

            “What what are you going to do?  Are going to hit me? Go ahead and hit me I will call the cops.  Go ahead and hit me,” He screamed with a detached look in his eye and almost nose to nose with me pointing.

            “Jason, get out of my face.  Leave me alone.  Go away.  I don’t know what your problem is but you need to get it under control.”  I yelled and demanded.

 The next thing I knew he grabbed my arms and threw me into our iguana’s cage, that is 8 foot by 7 foot long, made of plexi glass and wood.  I blanked out for a brief period.  When my senses were back, I was trying to get him out of the kitchen away from my son.  I remembered him grabbing a piece of glass right before my mind went black. I headed into the living room while he followed.  He was yelling and cursing the whole time.  I made a quick call to my mom telling her I was coming home then hung up.  I started down the hallway to the bedroom to grab some of our stuff to take with me and Jason threw a piece of glass at my head.  Lucky for me he missed.  He was yelling about how awful I was and what a terrible person I was and that we were through. 

            I looked him in the eyes, “No, kidding were through.  I wouldn’t stay with you if you were the last man on earth.”  I picked up the phone to call my mom and let her know we were on our way.  My son at this point is in his bedroom with the door shut.  Jason ripped the phone out of my hands and threw it into the hallway. 

He then went into the living room and tossed my purse outside yelling, “get the f**k out right now.”  Then slammed the door so hard, that my clock, fell off the wall and broke.

             I got my son and waited for Jason to move from in front of the door.  I was terrified; he would push, me or my son down the flight of stairs.  When he went into the kitchen, we left.  He came outside acting like a wild man calling me some of the worst names in the book.  I went to my neighbors, called my mom, and then left to get away from him.

            In that moment when I calmed down, I noticed little things that I hadn’t before.  There was a cut on my hand, and blood on my shirt.  I didn’t take the time to look thoroughly I just want my son and me to be safe.  After going to my mom’s we went to the police station, where my son and I, both had to file police reports and pictures had to be taken.  I had a huge cut on my thumb, a cut with a bruise on my chest, two complete hand print bruises on my arms, a scratch on my neck and bruises on the back of both of my shoulders.  By the grace of God, my son didn’t have scratch or bruise on him, and I know in my heart that God is the one who allowed me to walk out of that apartment that day.

            My family gathered around me and after Jason was arrested, we packed all my stuff and moved out in the middle of the night.  We didn’t get finished till get finished until after 3 am.  When I got to my mom’s and took a shower, I noticed I had bruises on my thighs, under my butt, and a scratch on my neck.  I found out that the scratch on my neck was from him holding a piece of the broken glass to my throat and he threatened to kill me.  The scratch and bruise on my chest was from him hitting me with a piece of glass there.  He had thrown it so hard that it not only cut me but bruised the skin as well.  The bruises on the backside of my body were from, being thrown into the lizard’s cage.  He had thrown me so hard he actually bent the hinges inward so that the cage couldn’t be opened.  The door was stuck.

            The legal process was a long one between the order of protection, and the court hearing.  I had always thought that I was a strong person and that being abuse was something I would never allow to happen.  Guess what?  It did happen but not because I let it happen.  It happened to me and I didn’t have any control over the situation.  If it wasn’t for my family bonding together to help me and a wonderful friend named Jesse, encouraging me through the court issues, I would have been lost.  When something as traumatic, as abuse happens to you; it is the support of wonderful friends and a close family that gets you through it.

Reviews

[The Perfectionist]

Come on now, Kristina. Basic grammatical errors? You're better than that. Proofread the first paragraph. Actually, check that. Proofread this whole thing. It's rife with basic mistakes that you should catch very easily upon rereading.

I imagine this was very difficult for you to write. It is just written well below the standard I expect from you, and almost disjointedly in pieces at times. It feels almost like you're trying to recount the event rather than write about it (and yes, there is a difference). While the honesty is appreciated, from a literary standpoint it could be much improved.

Having said that, I don't imagine you'll be going back and rewriting the thing, so congratulations for managing to put it out there, at least.

[KAREN]

Sorry you had to go through this, but you wrote with heartfelt feeling. This write was filled with emotion, and maybe others might read it that has been abuse and get strength from your story because you made it through!

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Very emotional intense write! So glad you made it out safely. Thanks for sharing a deep part of your life!

[Im His Daughter]

I am so proud of you. You are stronger than you realize. I sat here thinking about my own writes i did not long ago (Help Stop Spousal Abuse & He walks away).. Altho there are similarities I realize i was not as strong as you. I was one that allowed it but i was afraid to leave. I felt i couldn't.. I however do want you to know that "I" am proud of you & just as much so is God & your son. see it's not our fault for the abuse. People have their own issues that are not dealt with & they fester & erupt lke a volcano on the innocent ones. So proud, great write .. Blessings to you both!!! Hugs n Love

[Inci 2]

sad but great , inspiring work..u are very strong and i'll respect u for that always :)

[luciddreamer]

This was a wonderful write on how it showed that things like this do happen and how you must think about your children as well as out of that situation immediately...I'm sorry this happened to you, I hope you realize how strong you are to have gotten you and your son out .....

Peace
Robin

[ChristianM]

I'm sorry this happened to you Kristina. Men who strike women are among the lowest of the low in my book. If I ever see a man hit a woman I'd probably be arrested for accidentally killing the guy. God is good in the fact your son was unharmed. I pray that you find someone who is right for you.

[Steve]

I can see the honesty and the real -ness........

There was nothing you could have done Kristina. Its not like you could have given him a test to see if he was a doushbag before you dated him right? I am sorry this happened to you. I like how you protected your son and were strong during this crap.....

[Fran Marie]

I'm so glad you and your son got away from such an abusive situation

no one should have to live in that type of domestic violence ....which you

expressed .....well written

[HorrorMaster]

Very intense story. I really enjoy it.