Scorching Desert Passion

Scorching summer desert sun, baking the sand
Standing silently, a figure dressed in black
Sweating, violently with this dry parched land

Sunglasses gleaming, bouncing off brilliant sun rays
Salty water gliding down the perfect face
Passion flowing with eruption, wanting to play

Liquid inferno sizzles moistened skin
Heating rapture ascending to where he's standing
Sensual feeling explode, yearning begins

Exploding desires consume all senses
Burning deeply inside to be fulfilled
Opening heartfelt passion letting down defenses

Begging pleading urgently for that heated touch
Soulfully feeling connected body to mind
Spirits endlessly binding, skin to clutch

Spirit forever locked in a parched desert land
Screaming, burning intensely with fiery desire
Heart pulsing upon gritty dry blazing sand.

Reviews

[MissWordSmith]

Again, I felt like you were forcing the rhymes.. and in some places they didn't make sense.

"Passion flowing with eruption, wanting to play"

Wanting to play? I mean, okay, i understand the meaning, but again, the feeling is lost.. passion flowing ---> wanting to play, the whole emotion becomes messy.
you're trying to convey something, and you DO, only to take the feeling away with the next line.. it wasn't great. but, again, i'm just being brutally honest. sorry if it sounds very harsh.

[emmajoy]

You had me at that phrase 'a figure dressed in black'! From start to finish that is a very passionate, lusty, hot piece of writing .. imagined or real!

[Bette]

ahem. . . Wow. Well done getting out.

[Mauricio Montoya]

The emotion in this write is so strong I can feel the heat.
Excellent write.

[LonelySoul]

I feel like I need a cig and a shower after reading this hot lil' number...LonelySoul

[MissWordSmith]

Opening heartfelt passion letting down defenses
i really liked that part ^^

[luciddreamer]

Vivid imagery with this write....really good read :)
Peace
Robin

[harman kour]

hey it's a beautiful write :)
Its really intense and flows wonderfully creating vivid imagery! Bravo!

[Jibey]

The heat and intensity of this writing spoke of burning passion and its consummation in the harsh heat of the desert....begging, clutching, screaming

[Crowley]

So I got the feeling that this burning image was someone who is off limits but extremely desirable on the most basic of levels. Who would deny him, no-one except the heat is all consuming, yo may not be able to reach him before you burn up. This was very vivid and nicely rhymed. Great work.