Desert Rose

Estranged in a distant land;
Filled with sunburns and sand,
Pulsing on the parched ground;
Thumping with its unique sound.

Delicately laid at your feet;
Quietly strumming it's beat,
Pulsing a rhythm all its own;
Potently a passion is shown.

Pleading to be caressed, with need;
An organ, sobbing it bleeds,
Hungry for your love it pleads;
Maroon heart, the desert rose,
Waiting with patience at your toes.
 

Author's Note

the last stanza is a little different. Tell me if you think it affects the flow.

Reviews

[R E Tree]

The first stanza blew me away with the use of rhyming words that get me drawn totally. I can tell your writing skills have improved a lot. I compared this with one of your old poems and I can see how your writing skills have grown beautifully. Keep writing because you are such a great writer

[SpokenWord]

Well if I had known that roses felt this way I would care for each and everyone of them. Very sweet poem.

[InkSlinger]

Nope the stanza works nicely here, capping off a very passionate feel... Well done!

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

The last stanza works..your words are imbued with passion here.It is a passion which is patient too...:)Also i like the length of the poem.

[r]

Oh i love this. it's beautiful, love the imagery. :)

[clemon73]

I really liked this piece, i think the last stanza capped it off nicely.

[Mauricio Montoya]

Great start which comes together beautify, all in all, nice work.

[Crowley]

I love the last stanza...makes the whole thing very organic. I love the mixture of great rhyme and visualization to bring about the essence of modern living in the desert. This had a desperate feel to the last half of the poem...something is waiting and wanting someone to come, but I have the feeling they never did. Really nice job, I loved it.

[The Water Queen]

This whole poem was stunning. visibly and mentally stunning the last stanza:
Pleading to be caressed, with need;
An organ, sobbing it bleeds,
Hungry for your love it pleads;
Maroon heart, the desert rose,
Waiting with patience at your toes
Was my favorite and sealed this poem with a perfectly executed chill. The ryhme was on and so was the flow. Great job!

[HorrorMaster]

Amazing poem. I love it

[Cheryl J. Turner]

I adore this piece - it is just divine.