Beneath this fleshy outer layer
Underneath sinew and bone
Lays a muscle that beats relentlessly
Thumping a perfect rhythm
Life sustaining beat
Of immaculate song
Look beyond the biology
Gaze past the rib cage
Deeper still inspect the pericardium
With a microscope
Etched hidden, immersed
Submerged in the physiology
Are words scripted, engraved
On the outside layer of this
Delicately strong organ
Some souls transcribe
Infusing their ink
Sketching their names on the heart
Illuminating letters on their soul
Wow this is so deep and mesmerizing and raw and pure. I could actually see that very heart, as it beat, giving life to the body it beholds, and the scars and words embezzled on the muscle of that heart as well.
Imagery was amazing, and your writing seems very professional in terms of anatomy and such. I felt as if I was the Doctor operating within a patients body to seek this heart out. Superb Writing, Great Job
Posted 7 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you so much. It took some tweaking to get the right words in their place
Visually gratifying to the point of a sentimental bliss. well done young lady!
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Hey good to see you around🙂I'm glad you liked this sentimental piece.
7 Years Ago
Nice to see you're still here lol
7 Years Ago
Off and on. I hadn't written but maybe one poem in two years but trying to get back into the groove .. read moreOff and on. I hadn't written but maybe one poem in two years but trying to get back into the groove and write something everyday if possible.
I most likely will rest on my laurels for now. This site isn't what it used to be. Years ago it was .. read moreI most likely will rest on my laurels for now. This site isn't what it used to be. Years ago it was common courtesy to review ones work when your work was reviewed. Now it's all about self and praise. Sad!
7 Years Ago
The ones I have on my friends list are pretty good about reading in return.
7 Years Ago
Most of the folks I had as friends have moved on and closed their accounts...I guess because of the .. read moreMost of the folks I had as friends have moved on and closed their accounts...I guess because of the amount of young folks who've taken over and think it's all about them and haven't a clue on being polite & respectful. The world is a much different place these days friend.
Wow this is so deep and mesmerizing and raw and pure. I could actually see that very heart, as it beat, giving life to the body it beholds, and the scars and words embezzled on the muscle of that heart as well.
Imagery was amazing, and your writing seems very professional in terms of anatomy and such. I felt as if I was the Doctor operating within a patients body to seek this heart out. Superb Writing, Great Job
Posted 7 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you so much. It took some tweaking to get the right words in their place
You really get to the heart of the matter here. I love your use of language, I'm not at your poetic level but I can appreciate the beauty of your words.
Thank you.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you and really I'm still learning. Don't ask me to write any of the technical meters or sonnet.. read moreThank you and really I'm still learning. Don't ask me to write any of the technical meters or sonnets. That is beyond my skill level right now
Wow, I never expected to learn about the inter~workings of the heart while reading poetry but you pulled it off without a break in the flow. Kudos, my friend.
Each stanza is well infused with the pain that one feels within their heart ~ which is only allowed to be shared through the words of a poet.
PB, you ask in stanza 3 " Are words scripted, engraved
On the outside layer of this
Delicately strong organ" ... I can only speak of my own heartache, where the pain continues to live deep WITHIN each darkened chamber of my heart.
Thanks for sharing this heartfelt piece with us and I look forward to reading more words from your heart.
Please take care and have a restful night.
Blessings,
~ hsg
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Thank you. I believe certain people etch their names on our hearts for different reasons. And with t.. read moreThank you. I believe certain people etch their names on our hearts for different reasons. And with that we carry a piece of them with us in our souls forever.
7 Years Ago
I totally agree ~ for I'm living proof of that belief my friend. We have no control over some thing.. read moreI totally agree ~ for I'm living proof of that belief my friend. We have no control over some things in life such as who the heart chooses to love.
i am clueless in physiology...but i still felt an understanding of this...what is physical contains most of what is emotional...the vessel for it...
poets have a different heartbeat...i just feel that is true...our physiology looks the same...but it's not.
not quite. we are parallel but in ways we are in another plane.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
So very true. I believe poets feel deeper than others. That is how we are able to write emotions on .. read moreSo very true. I believe poets feel deeper than others. That is how we are able to write emotions on paper and the readers can feel them.
So poignant. I love the use of actual physiology terms. I have a profound appreciation for physiology after taking many science and anatomy classes. It tickled me pink to see you use "pericardium" and "microscope"! I really enjoyed this poem.
One thing to note: you misspelled "imersed" in the third stanza. It should be "immersed".
I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. This one took a bit of work with using the medical terms and finding .. read moreI'm glad you enjoyed the poem. This one took a bit of work with using the medical terms and finding the right spots. Thank you for catching the spelling issue. Shall go fix it now 🙂
7 Years Ago
When I was writing my poem "Perfect Symmetry", the process was much the same as yours: trying to fit.. read moreWhen I was writing my poem "Perfect Symmetry", the process was much the same as yours: trying to fit in terms, getting stuck, and then letting it flow. It's a beautiful poem and some of my best work. :) This brought back memories of that.
You're welcome! Those little errors are always annoying.
7 Years Ago
Yes and I have some on here because I pasted them with word I can't fix. It comes up with all these .. read moreYes and I have some on here because I pasted them with word I can't fix. It comes up with all these codes lol
I love your dichotomy of the physical and the spiritual, body and soul as one, yet existing as diverse worlds. Perhaps that is the balance we all must find to exist in this mystery of the world. Profoundly voiced.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
I believe the physical is connected to the spiritual in many ways. Thank you for your kind words. Th.. read moreI believe the physical is connected to the spiritual in many ways. Thank you for your kind words. This piece was hard to write with using medical terms and finding the right placement
7 Years Ago
You breathed it out so wondrously. And yes, I believe this too, in the connections of the physical a.. read moreYou breathed it out so wondrously. And yes, I believe this too, in the connections of the physical and the spiritual realms. Amazing world we live in.
First off I'm on here to post my writing to have an outlet for my emotions. You will find a variety of poems. If you like take a moment and stroll through this poets mind.
Secondly be kind to each .. more..