26 haiku about why I hate the holidaze a-z

This collection of haiku was born out of one stupid idea that became a labor of love and a challenge beyond my belief. This collection comes from my latest chapbook of the same name. If you may or may not know I hate the holidaze and this collection pro

arrogant a******s

amidst appropriation

assaulting amblers

 

buying bagatelles

boisterously bartering

badgering bursars

 

clambering cloisters

caterwauling canaries

celebrate Christmas

 

delirious dolts

dangerously drunk driving

destination death

 

effervescent elves

elatedly expelling

electric eggnog

 

festive family

feasting fastidiously

false face fronts fracture

 

gourmands gleely gnash

gratefully grinding great gobs

gorging grotesquely

 

happy holidays

heat huddling homeless hoping

heaven has hot-tubs

 

idyllic in-laws

incomprehensibly ill

intoxicated

 

jovial jerkoffs

jabbering jejunities

joyfully jaundiced

 

kerygmatic kooks

kathartically keen kyrie

karmicly keckish

 

ludicrous losers

laughably laudatory

largiloquent louts

 

monomania

myriad mobs maraud malls

merry marketing

 

Numismatistic

nostromanic neophiles

nauseant nexus

 

oenomanic oafs

obamulating outlets

obtuse obtruders

 

probmatically poor

purveyors picking pockets

purchasing presents

 

quasi-religious

quibblingly quaalude quaffing

quintessential quacks

 

raucous revelers

raving religious rabble

ridiculous ruck

 

saccharinicly

sappy sainted santa sits

suppressing satan

 

tasty temptations

tongue tantalizing tidbits

triggering thickness

 

ubiquitousness

ultimate urbanity

useless upper-class

 

vaingloriously

vacant valium vampire

vaginas vamoose

 

wanabee wahoos

wanton wassail wanderlust

wine wobbly wankers

 

xenophobia

xeroxed xylose xmases

xanax xanadu

 

yammering yappers

yawningly yieldless yo-yos

yearly yahwism

 

zany zealotism

zionist zeitgeist zenith

zillionth zantac zen

 

 

Glossary

 

appropriation – buying, to buy

amblers – walkers

bagatelles     - trinkets, knick-knacks

cloisters – group

caterwauling – making long wailing cries like a cat

effervescent – bubbling, vivacious, gay

fastidiously – with painstaking care

gourmands – gluttonous eaters

gnash – to grind

jabbering – talking endlessly

jejunities – devoid of significance

jaundiced – exhibiting envy, distaste, or hostility

kerygmatic – belief in salvation through Jesus Christ

kyrie – prayer or song begging for mercy

kathartically – same as cathartic (purification of emotions) 

karmicly – involving karma

keckish – to be nauseated, to retch

laudatory – expressing praise

largiloquent – pompous

monomania – obsessive zeal for one thing

numismatistic – lover of money

nostromanic – overwhelming desire to return to familiar places

neophiles – lovers of novelties

nexus - mob

oenomanic – lover of wine

obamulating – wandering aimlessly

obtruders –  to impose

ruck – a large number or quantity

saccharinicly - sugary

ubiquitousness – existing everywhere

urbanity – elegance and sophistication

vaingloriously – pompous or showy

wassail – holiday wine drink that toasts to good health 

wanderlust – desire to travel about

xenophobia – fear of foreigners

xylose – sugar substance

xanax – medicine prescribed for anxiety disorders

xanadu – place of great luxury and contentment

yammering -  talking loudly

yappers – to bark or talk shrilly

yahwism – someone who believes in god

zealotism- showing fanaticism

zeitgeist – a ghost

zenith – highest point

zantac – medicine prescribed to treat ulcers