Abandonment I-III

Abandonment I

People abandon me
Why?
Tis a simple matter
There are many people in this world
To socialize with.
I'm just one insignificant pawn.
Plus, this insignificant pawn
Is annoying. Stupid. Obnoxious. No fun.
And since I'm small and so utterly worthless
Abandon me,
I'm dumb.

Abandonment II

Abandonment
All to me
A rip into the heart
And slowly I bleed.
Four of them left
Cutting me up on the way out
By their absence
A lunch buddy gone.
A close friend to relate with gone
A instrumentalist buddy gone
A friend to laugh with gone
All avoiding my gaze.
All ignoring my emails.
So now I'm all alone.
They know each other.
Have they planned this?
Planned the shunning of JuLee?
The one who did not deserve this
Dark embrace of emptiness?
I do not know,
Nor does it matter.
No more lunch.
No more relating.
No more music.
No more laughing.
I have one other,
Who swears to always stay true.
But she doesn't have my lunch.
And can't relate exactly the same.
And doesn't play the sax.
Nor always share the same sense of humor.
So for now,
In those ways,
I am alone.

Abandonment III

For weeks on end you avert my
steady gaze, my steady gaze
grief-stricken by the silence.
And now you speak,
Blasting out good cheer.
Are you a liar?!
Are you picking me apart at my stitching
Maliciously trying to destroy and unravel me?
Or are you trying to revive my
deadened-from-you heart with
honest words and truthful enthusiasm?
You left me bleeding.
You gashed me open.
Can you revitalize me from pain,
Only to heal my wounds
with the smallest of scars?
I don't know if you can.