Give up

 

Look what I’ve done

Look at me now

 

Shattered dreams

Corrupted reality

Broken life

To tired to continue

Hurting

Falling into pain

 

What did I do?

Why do I feel this way?

 

Burning from their eyes

Piercing stares

Cruel sick laughs

Bumped,

Tripped,

Alone…

 

What can I do now?

I’m stuck

 

Try

They laugh

Try

They push and laugh harder

I fall, and get back up

They push again

I fall, even more bruised than before.

 

What Can I do now?

Give up

Reviews

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Mmmm. it did not end with a question mark so it seems they have decided their fate in the face of adversity. Unfortunate feelings we can all relate to at one point or another - I know that I can certainly empathize but I try not to give up anyway. Thank you. Well penned, thoughful work.
Light,
Siddartha

[Priscilla Sayers]

Laugh back! Don't give up... You are never alone dear poet. Such honest words shedding vulnerability, yet beneath I see a spark of strength. let that spark rage into a fire! Love this but sorrow fills my heart. My shoulders are here is ever there is a need. i don't want anyone to give up.

[Ben Taylor]

I enjoyed the way you wrote this. Well done.

[nono]

I like it the harder you try sometimes that's what people laugh at sometimes it's like get a life and make fun of yourself. People are mean, people are nice, and people are whatever! I like this good job!

[Jim Lozkittle]

Very simple, very impactive, the single words almost punch you in the stomach with the impact they hold to the poem itself

[MiidniightSoul]

I like this. Very beautiful written. Very good

[Awdures]

Excellent use of singular words for impact. I thoroughly enjoyed the strength of emotion you showed here. I think we all feel like this from time to time. Fortunately the "I give up" faze does not last forever!

[Free Writer]

When someone pushes you down, you get back up, they push again you get up again, giving up is what they want you to do, but you have to show them that you're strong (on the inside) and that's what counts. This was a really good poem though and I have felt this way before, it's something everyone can relate to, but in the end I realize I can't give up, that I have to keep trying.

[Chrystal Gallenger]

So many people who feel like this, so sad it is. I agree, your flow is amazing, and the words are perfect.

[poetic soul]

this poem resembles my poem "deep within" but of course its different in a lot many ways, as every creation is... :) thanks for sharing this.... :)

Regards,
Poetic Soul

[vindictivesunshine]

"Shattered dreams
Corrupted reality
Broken life
To tired to continue
Hurting
Falling into pain" these words strike a chord with me, and in the scheme of the poem it fits beautifully.
Nice work