Freehand

This poem is a variation of a Glosa, a Spanish poetic form that begins with a quote (sometimes, but not always, by another writer) and weaves it into the text of the poem. In a formal Glosa this is done according to specific rules and usually involves rhy

If hands could free you, heart,

Where would you fly?

Far, beyond every part

Of earth this running sky

Makes desolate? Would you cross

City and hill and sea,

If hands could set you free?

~ Philip Larkin

 

If hands could free you, heart

from drumless rhythm, ocean

and fragmented fall of rain,

all distant yet the same

beating from miles apart.

 

The continent can not divide

the whisper of you, heart.

The tap of truth is spoken,

beat one letter at a time.

 

If hands could free you

with the feathered sweep

of wings, where would you fly?

What music would you sing

if song could fill the eye,

recall the scattered tears

 

beyond the art of prescience,

the child years that catch a flake

of hope upon the tip of smile.

 

Our compasses of earth,

this running sky, makes desolate

the hourglass of past. Where

would you cross the hidden line

from first to last in heaven,

earth, a city, hill and sea?

 

Where would you plant your dreams

if hands could set you free?

Reviews

[Toni Prehoda Kahler]

This is quite grand. "....The tap of truth is spoken, beat one letter at a time..." The whole work feels majestic, like a hymn, like a song.

[THE BLACK SEAL]

i think you did well with this.. the flow of it was pretty good, and i loved some of the lines you used such as compasses of earth.
Really well done and yes i would have to agree it does have a yeats twang to it.
There were a couple of lines that did not rhyme yet they still worked within the overall structure

[Tim McGovern]

I really hope this is submitted somewhere.
The rhythm and images in this remind me of Old Billy Yeats.
But there's so much more that I just don't feel qualified to even talk about.
it is a thing of beauty, perfectly woven and phrased.
It is your fine hand, and every time I see it, whether it's the amante poems of the childhood poems, when you are ion the place the words are spells cast over the reader.
Truly an enchanted poem

Namaste' Shemeh
Tim

[Brette Medb]

Wow. This was intense and so much emotion! You wove the quote in perfectly and kept with the original author's thoughts and rhyme. Truly brilliant piece!


Brette