Pretty

I just wanted to clarify something, and normally I don't swear this much in poetry but it is SO CALLED FOR ugh I don't know i don't know at all

I have a maybe-sort-of-possible-friend

Who has a mind so full of everything there is to think

That even I am astonished

She's like the lyrics of an old song that used to haunt the radio

As cliche as that is

She is the sad smiles and girl who is trying 

And they paint her as the perfect love interest

They try and make her hurting pretty

And it's not meant to be like that at all.

Feeling and being that profound and raw isn't meant to be contained

Into neat, forced and small little boxes

God only knows how rough she's got it

The things we tell ourselves shouldn't fit into songs.

And the thing that pisses me off

Because of everything about it

Is that she's really pretty.

It's not that that makes me so mad,

It's that people try to take these awful things

These monstrous things inside of us and tame them

Hiding a beautiful girl behind a romanticized problem

And it makes me mad because

Being pretty doesn't do a damn thing.

I wish that telling someone they're pretty could 

Be the thing that makes them happy and whole and okay

And self-assured

But she is pretty. In a million ways.

Because you can't blame makeup for glittering eyes,

And it cannot hide a pensive look heavy with everything inside

And so, my statement stands. 

She is pretty. She is beautiful.

But she is just as cautious and smart and intentional

And there's no way to put those kinds of things in poetry.

No way to make that beautiful.

But it doesn't have to be beautiful.

It just has to be. 

Until she sees that she is, in fact, pretty,

And happens upon something good and right and worth waiting for

That can make her a little bit okay.

F**k, it's just-

I just-

Oh, I don't know. 

I wish I knew.

And I wish I knew what to do

What helps and what I can say or offer

To make things-

Well, I suppose they can't be free from past pain

But to make things as bearable as I can

So please-

Don't smile if you can't.

It's not being honest with yourself.