Fee-nom-ee-con-ikel

justa poem

If I had a thought,

 I think it would be,

 Red velvet spot,

 Juniper seas.

 Track knuckle the honey suckle,

 Hen sits the jumble deed,

 Throw out your judges,

Roll up the weed

 

If I had a chance,

What I think I would do

Nibble on a butter muffin,

At a ¼ to 2.

Heavy the smot,

Smoke some more pot,

We fiddle then rot.

 

If I had a hustle,

I would make it legit.

Not a person to stop,

Not one will quit.

If I had a buck,

I might give a s**t.

Reviews

[Hannah Paige]

Wow, i really liked the flow and the way you linked phrases together.
Honestly, i'm not sure i fully understand all of it, but maybe that's how it should be. The last 2 lines i like especially, i think you ended it really well. You're clearly talented. Great work.

[Dionysios]

Interesting form coupled with a strong juxtaposed content, driven by a tacitly assumed metaphorical sense.
Your ending is raw and realistic, an element, which connotes a style of its own.

[Erin]

The style and message definitely were the best things about this poem. It was a very consistent poem, which is a good thing. Nice job.
PBP

[Geralyn Miller]

Been there, done that. (Except the weed, I am horribly allergic :( )
I detect a touch of "Jabberwocky"; there is one word I cannot make sense of in the second verse, fifthe line--"smot".
This poem is whimsical, and has just enough a nonsense element to make it fun to read. I think it would be advisable to write out the 1/4, so the line reads:
"At a quarter to 2." This will eliminate people reading it as "one fourth".