Chelmsley

I love everything about this. PLEASE ADD MORE!!!!!

Posted 14 Years Ago

intriguing, bold, and it hooks you! great job!!!

Posted 14 Years Ago

I am sorry I never read this... it's excellent... 1 suggestion: add more!

Posted 14 Years Ago

great amazing!

Posted 14 Years Ago

Nice write....and the flow is good.
I want the end.. lol
over all....
good joB!

Posted 14 Years Ago

i liked it. keep hitting it hard

Posted 14 Years Ago

a great job on this so far and a very enjoyable read...interesting to see how this all comes together..so far so good!!

Posted 14 Years Ago

read both chapters and it's freaking interesting. i like the characters in general and the storyline is pretty cool as well. can't wait to see what comes next...

Posted 14 Years Ago

I read both chapters right through one after the other and i thought that you have the start of a good story.
I do think that you should have somehing more happen in the first chapter, as thats where you will pull in the readers and a lot of people will give up and not reach chaper two.
there were a few spelling misakes that i saw mostly they look like typo's that you can probably spot with a good re-read.
This isn't usually the kind of story i read so you did a good job in keeping me going. though i think its the fantasy writer in me that kept waiting for something strange to happen. keep up the good work i'll be looking forward to the next chapter.

Posted 14 Years Ago

Yes I agree! It seems like it shall be good but lets see how you start it!

Posted 14 Years Ago