Some Enchanted Evening

The thoughts have been racing through my

mind, similarly as to how I'm racing up these steps.

One hundred and twenty five floors. I'm only at

the twentieth. I decide to take the easy way out

and take the elevator. The doors open and I'm

once again outside. The beautiful smell of the

outdoors: gas, smoke, pollution. Nature is great.

I walk around the top of this building and I take

a look at the city. I've never seen it this way:

the way the setting sun dances upon the river,

the way the city lights glare with rays of hope,

the way that cars beneath seem to be automatic,

not driven by humans.

I take a peak over the edge and I see people

resembling ants and I wonder if this is how He

had intended us to look. Maybe that's why we

aren't intimidating: depending on the perspective,

we're just ants.

I take a step up onto the ledge. The thrill of it,

the thought of being able to be gone forever

is a wondrous feeling. Everything I've ever

worked towards, all of the people I've ever

met, inspired, let down will all cease to exist

in my mind. The pain and guilt that I

contain at this very second could be gone

in just a few more. I don't need to live this

way. I don't need to live at all. It's a dark

thought, this I know, but I've been in the

dark my whole life.

I take off my shoes and leave them on the

ledge. Maybe they'll find them and

appreciate where they've been and what

they've been through. Shoes are great

in that way.

I take one last look at the city. The city

that I loved so dearly, too dearly, but

hated me in return.

I'm sorry I couldn't do it.

I apologize for being this way.

I take a step closer. I'm building up

the courage to do it. It isn't easy.

Goodbye cruel world.