Heart&Key

I wrote this poem about 1 or 2 years ago. I don't think it's all that great, but a lot of people have been saying that it's really good. I don't usually title my poems either...

I sat on the sidewalk,
crying in the rain...
Our eyes locked for a moment,
and you saw my pain.

 

On that sorrowful day,
I was truly afraid.
I locked away my heart,
but you offered me a trade.

 

You asked for my heart,
or rather, the key...
You swore never to hurt me,
and you wouldn't tear it apart.

 

My hands had been shaking.
My eyes red from tears,
but I handed it over,
despite all of my fears.

 

You took me on an adventure
and set my solemn heart free.

 

Now after all this time...
You still have my heart.
You've kept your promise,
and never have we been apart.

Reviews

[Lyrical Love]

Welcome!
I think that it has great bones. The flow is not there. [or rather, the key... to my heart.] to my heart can go, you have a rhyme, and a rhythm that is there-without those words. Again here, [but I handed over the key, ] remove 'the key'. Add--handed it over. Just try reading it this way outloud. Overall, I feel an okay write, can be a great poem!
Lyrical

[Gandré]

this poem is sweet, for it speaks through its honesty. I enjoyed it very much! last stanza makes a great pointe.

[Dusky]

Really cool poem. I agree with Lyrical though - some words like key and one of the hearts interrupt the smoother rhythm you had around them. I like the imagery you use, though, and the second verse is very good.